Need revision/editing help? Here are some quick tips to get you started.

The Rabbit in the Hat Hook'er is taking a bit of a hiatus from the blog to work on  her manuscript to get it to back her editor this week. She's a pretty busy hook'er.

So lucky you, you get to hear from me TWICE this week (today and then again on Wednesday). I can here the cheers and whoops (I hope that's cheers and whoops I'm hearing).

Since Kacey is busy revising, and D.S. is working on her manuscript, and I'm in the process of tweaking and editing the heck out of my Western Zombie Romance novel (Don't chuckle. I'm being serious here), I thought why not share some of our own tricks and tips that we use to edit to help you. Feel free to look the tip over and apply what you feel works for you.

1. First drafts are meant to be crappy. It's okay. But it's at this point, when we have a completed first draft that we should start to analyze its crappiness and figure out where and how to improve it.

2. Before editing the first draft, wait at least 2 weeks before delving in. When you were writing, you wrote hot. You were in the middle of it all, passion and creativity flowing--that's good. But for editing, you need to write cold. You need to be able to step back and analyze your work. The 2 weeks will give you time to cool down.

3. Before you do any editing at all, find a comfy place and read it through from beginning to end (this may take a couple of sittings depending on the size of your novel) and read it like a new reader, getting into the book for the first time. Don't stop and make any changes yet. Just read.

4. Now your ready to edit.The best way to look at your writing is to do one of two things: print it out in a different color ink or change the font. This way your mind has to work a little harder and can't simply insert missing words or read over misspellings. It tricks the brain.

5. Check that words are spelled correctly. Check grammar and tense.

6. Create stronger verbs. Remove adverbs, or as much as possible. Convert adverbs into verbs and adjectives into nouns. Check for -ly words.

7. Remove extra words or repeated phrases. Look for the overuse of the word THAT. Many times it can be removed and is unnecessary.

8. Remove cliches.

9. Do a search for words like, COULD and FELT. See where you can remove or revise the sentence to make it stronger.

10. Search for scenes that tell rather than show and revise.

11. Search for to-be verbs.

12. Make sure each scene is character driven. Make sure each character is well developed and serves a purpose to the story.

13. Check for plot holes and ways in which to fill them.

14. If you find yourself skimming over passages, not wanting to read them, then remove them. More than likely, your readers will skim over them too.

15. Watch for repeater words in the same sentence, paragraph, or page.

16. Give your manuscript to some beta readers and get their feedback on your story as to what they liked and didn't like. Then revise again.

These are just a few tip. You can find more online, but this will get you started in the right direction. Have a wonderful Monday! And remember, good books aren't written. They're edited.

~The Reluctant Hooker

Hook'er Shoes And Harry Potter

I just started a new job after nearly eight years as a stay at home mom. My usual attire was something like this:

I don’t think I had a shirt that didn’t have one of those mystery stains (moms know what I’m talking about).  

Now that I have a grown up job, absent of Dora and Spongebob, I can wear real clothes and—dun, dun, dun—high heels. I’m a shoe girl so donning my hook’er shoes couldn’t make me happier. If I’m unable to hear the click clacking of my computer keys then it may as well be the sounds of my new shoes hittin' the floor in my office building.

There’s one thing I’m trying to get used to with my new get up. Normally, I blend in with the crowd and don’t get so much as a how-de-do from passersby, but lately I’ve been getting the how-you-doin’ nods from fellas. At first I didn't notice because this is new to me. I’m not sure how to react. I’m sure I should be flattered, give a how-you-doin' back. I would if it weren’t for one thing: all my admirers look like Death Eaters, specifically Wormtail.

Or this guy:

I’ve always thought of myself as a Gryffindor gal maybe even a Ravenclaw. Muggles are good people. But is there something I'm not seeing? Am I dark deep down. Evil? Or is it my shoes? 

What Hogwart's house would you belong to? Try this link and post your answer. http://www.thealmightyguru.com/Reviews/HarryPotter/Docs/Quiz-House.html Also, is there any series that had you waiting/dreaming about the next book or movie? If you answer Twilight I promise to hold back any and all jokes. *lifts up right hand in solemn oath-like gesture*

*update: I just took the quiz and I am a Hufflepuff. Hmmm. Not sure what to think about that. Aren’t they the lame ones? Do they do anything? Aren’t they the magic kids that don’t get picked for wizard dodgeball? It says I am loyal and some other nonsense. Loyal schmoyal. Whatever happened to brave? I'm officially a dog.  


Thanks for looking, 
The Skeptical Hook’er aka The Angry Hufflepuff 

What is voice? Guest blogger helps explain it.

People call me Tombstone. No, really, they do. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I delivered pizza for years. It also has nothing to do with the fact that I write about morbid and gruesome topics much of the time. In fact, the whys and hows and ins and outs of my extremely cool moniker are not why I am here today.

Today, the ladies asked me to fill a guest spot on the page, and so I, being the gracious and accepting friend that I am, obliged.

Speaking of ladies . . . and pizza, I’d like to talk about one lady in particular.

618 Nightingale.

That’s where she lived. Important information for when she called the Round Table Pizza establishment I worked at and asked for a pie to be delivered. I answered the phone expecting the call to be like any other.

It wasn’t.

Her voice—sensual, sultry, luscious, and filled with a timbre that flirted on the line between alto and soprano—sent my blood boiling moments after it filled my ears. Delivery drivers fantasized about voices like that, hoping beyond hope that reality would live up to fantasy.

She knew what she wanted. Pepperoni, mushroom, and sausage—and maybe I could deliver it to her. The meat and vegetable innuendo lodged itself deep in my mind, replaying with alarming frequency before the call had ended.

How could I get the delivery to 618 Nightingale?

I heard each fluctuation of her voice—the tremors, the giggles—and each little tactic she used to manipulate my hormones. Even though I knew she was using her voice for her ulterior motives, I let her do it anyway. Why? Because the sound of her voice intoxicated me, and I no longer cared for what ends she planned.

All the astral bodies aligned when I randomly accepted the opportunity to deliver her pie.

Sorry folks, I know you want a nice climax to the story, and will probably want to put me in a tombstone for cutting the story portion of our program right here, but I will finish the tale on my next guest post. In the mean time, let’s talk about voice.

Oh, the things voices do to us.

They can get our blood roiling, or frighten us; they can even set us laughing. The possibilities of voice are endless.

However, when I read statements from agents and editors talking about voice, it becomes clear to me that many of them don’t understand what it is. (Shhh, don’t tell some of them who might see this post on the interwebs that I said that!) Often, I hear vague statements that say something to the effect of “it’s the writer’s style” or “it’s the tone and style of the writer.”

How many of you have heard statements like this before? How many of you have read blogs or articles about voice and felt like the author left you with information as vague and abstract as finding The Blessed Mother Mary in a syrup formation on your French Toast?

In an attempt to cut the crust from the French toast and just get to the good stuff, let me say this: a linguist named Gibson sliced style into three parts of a triangle. This is what he said: style as it manifests the writer’s stance toward the subject matter is called attitude; style as it manifests the writer’s stance toward the audience is called tone; and style as it manifests thewriter is called voice, or persona.

If this is true, then style is more than voice. (Often I see the two terms used interchangeably, which I believe is incorrect.) I would also like to point out that if this is true, then one’s writing voice changes depending on the situation. Did you notice the shift in how the blog felt or sounded when I left the Pizza Delivery story compared to the portion where I began to speak about voice?

Our spoken voices change depending on the situation. When we are angry, our voices become loud, raspy, booming, and cutting, while sometimes our voices become low, sultry, and delicious when we flirt or want to be sexy.

The same thing happens with people when they sing. Voices often change when one is singing the National Anthem as compared to “Back in Black.” Obviously, opera singers have a completely different style than rock singers. Why? Because attitude and tone determine which voice we should use. Think about the differences needed to convey the emotions felt in “Hotel California” by the Eagles versus “Habanera” from the opera Carmen. (It should be noted that skill also determines how one develops his or her voice as well. I am sure Pavarotti could sing just about any rock song and sound good, though I’m not sure Bono could sing anything from Don Giovanni and sound fantastic. Becoming skilled at writing will help also help develop your
voice.)

So my conclusion is that those parts of style called tone and attitude often dictate which voice we should use. As a writer, are you going to use your inside or outside voice, your sarcastic or serious voice, or your sexy or naïve voice?

Some of this may still sound a bit abstract, vague, and complicated, but let me give you a little exercise to help you develop your own voice if you feel you are struggling with the concept.

First, think of a few authors you like and admire. Second, think of one word, and only one word, to describe how one of their books felt to you as you read it. Here are mine: Michael Chabon and The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay—verbose; Kurt Vonnegut and Slaughterhouse V—sarcastic; and Ray Bradbury and Something Wicked This Way Comes—Octobery. (Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Octobery is a word. I just coined it!)

Now finally, think of your work and your attitude—that is, your stance towards the subject matter, and decide where you stand. Then do the same for tone. Discover your feelings toward your audience. If you do, it will help you discover your voice. Will you be comedic, serious, sexy, mean, or stupid? Each of us has our own voice dependent on the attitude and tone of whatever situation we find ourselves in. Are you seducing someone or making them laugh?

And if you think about these other two aspects of style (attitude and tone), accordingly, you will find your own voice and not be carried by those authors you tried to emulate when you first started writing.

Ladies and gentleman, if this is helpful, please, let me know. Also, if you have other tips and tricks for understanding and developing voice, put them in the comments so that we can share and grow as a writing community. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this teaser for my next guest post.

618 Nightingale.

No Post For Monday

No post today. Rabbit In The Hat Hook'er is busy getting her edits back to her publisher for her debut novel. Wednesday we'll have a guest blogger covering for the Reluctant Hook'er. Come check him out. Yes, him. So would that make him a Hook'im?

Thanks,
The Skeptical Hook'er

Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

I recently moved back to my hometown just in time for one of the best fireworks shows west of the Mississippi—so they say. As I lay on my blanket, I scanned the crowd and a reoccurring theme rolled through my mind: just because a person can do something, doesn’t mean they should. 

Here’s my list of observations from the Fourth:

Just because a girl has boobs doesn’t mean everyone wants to see them, especially if the girl is 14/16ish. What’s up with all the young girls and the boob shirts?

Just because a seven year old can use a sparkler, doesn’t mean a two year old should. Do I really need to explain this? Two year olds are dangerous with popsicles. Markers. Chocolate. Why oh why would an exploding stick be a good plaything?

Just because you have an extra beer doesn’t mean you should give it to your drunken uncle. Just saying.

Just because a person can use the “f” word in the most creative of ways, doesn’t mean he should. I think it’s great that someone is learning to diversify their language by taking a swear word and turning it into an adjective, a noun, an adverb, a verb, a pronoun, a modifier, a whatever else they can. I’m happy you can do so, but not everyone thinks you’re clever.

Just because a person can wear smaller clothes, doesn’t mean she should. I am not trying to dis on larger people, especially since I am not the most svelte girl at the party. What I’m trying to suggest is wearing clothes that don’t cause pain for the wearer because it is too tight or clothes that make wobbly bits look even more wobbly. Looking like a tied up pot roast isn’t as attractive as eating the pot roast. With potatoes. Mmm. And gravy.

Okay, enough of this. You get the point. So how does this relate to writing? 

One of the great things about being an artist is your creation is your own. You can do whatever you want as long as you have someone who appreciates it. We are all starving for approval aren’t we? That’s one of the reasons for this blog. We want validation for our hard work. But just because we have the freedom to write whatever we want doesn’t necessarily mean we should.

*I am not going to go into a lot of detail because most of these can be blog posts of their own. This is just a quick look at a few things to think about. Please add your own in the comments section.

Prologue: Just because prologues and epilogues exist doesn’t mean we have to use them. I dislike them, and I really dislike them when they are used as a ploy or a “dot, dot, dot” moment to create drama, like an artificial hook. Start with the story. If the story doesn’t make sense without one, then maybe throw one in.

Dialect: Just because your character is Irish or British don’t overwhelm us with perfect dialect. It becomes cumbersome and pulls me out of the story. I like a bit of dialect, especially if I find a good line or two I can say out loud, but too much is too much. Add a bit of stuff here and there, the reader will get it.

Swearing: I read The Art Of Racing In The Rain by Garth Stein not too long ago. It was a book from the dog’s p.o.v. I loved most of it, but the one thing that really bugged me was the few times the author popped in the f-bomb. There wasn't many times. Maybe a handful, but each time it felt weird or out of place. When a writer goes nearly most of the book without using the word and then all of a sudden pops one in, it changes something for me. It sticks out. If it makes sense then I’m good, but when it is unnecessary, I find myself questioning the author in other areas.

Sex scenes: Just because you’re writing a love story or romance doesn’t mean you have to write a sex scene. If you are uncomfortable writing love/sex scenes, don’t do it. It will come off awkward. I know; I suck at them. I leave that stuff to my Rabbit In The Hat Hook’er. She writes some spicy stuff, but she is comfortable and it comes off that way. That shouldn’t dissuade you from writing romance though if you love it. Some of the best scenes are the ones where I was left at the door. Left to my own imagination.

I just picked the first four that popped in my head. If you could write a Just-Because-You-Can list for writing what would you include?

Picky Hook'ers & Mistakes to Avoid in Your First Five Pages

As I’ve mentioned before in an earlier blog post, we’re rejecting a lot of submissions. They’re just not hooking us. The first five pages should snare us, wet our appetite, and have us begging for more, but it just isn’t happening as much as we'd like. 

Are we too mean and picky? Maybe.

Should we relax our standards? Never.

Most agents ask for the query, the synopsis, and a “taste” of your work. Did you know that most agents, after reading the query, skip right to the sample pages? For the most part they could care less about the synopsis or plot of your story. They want to see what your writing style is like. They can get a good sense of who you are and what you have to offer—everything they need to know about you as a writer can be found in those first few pages of your novel. Then, and only then, if they like what they see will they take a look at the synopsis to determine if your story idea is intriguing, new, and fresh, something they want to represent. 

Oh, those first few pages! They can make or break you. It doesn’t seem fair, does it? But agents are busy people. Editors even more so. And Hook’ers are no exception either. 

So, just to give you an idea of what things we’re seeing that tend to cause us to say no (things you hopefully can avoid), I’ve compiled the following list: 

1)      1) Stories starting in the wrong place. Get us into the meat of the story right away. If you start your novel with too much backstory and setup, then we will pass. 

2)       2) Clichéd beginnings. Examples: (YA) The female/male main character comes to school and sees a new kid (girl/boy) in the office registering for classes (I can count on both hands the instances of stories starting off that same or similar way—Twilight, I Am Number Four . . .).  For romance, any type of romance, the opening starts off with the female main character jogging. Enough said. For some reason, female characters must be joggers, because, it’s only through jogging that they happen to come across the main male character (vampire, sexy alien, werewolf, super buff dude). 

3)       3) Starting off with a pretty cool hook/opening line, but then dropping it and never coming back to it. There have been a couple submissions in which that opening sentence was like wow, I need to read more. But then the story takes off in a different direction and leaving us feeling confused and mislead. 

4)       4) Too many modifiers.  The over use of adverbs, adjectives, and metaphors. (You know how much I dislike adverbs). 

5)       5) The cadence or sound of the novel reads funny.  Try reading your words out loud. Listen to the beat of the words as you say them. Even though they are written, they do need to have a smooth flow.

6)       6) Too much stage direction. You don’t have to tell the reader EVERYTHING the character is doing. It’s okay to end dialogue with simply “he said”. That’s good. Some narrative is great and appreciated. It breaks up the use of dialogue tags. But TOO many can be jarring. Find a balance. 

7)    7) Not having a clean submission. I’m not talking dirty, gritty words here (Hook’ers can handle it), what I mean is that the manuscript has either punctuation problems, or margin issues, or copy/crossover over issues.  Now, we don’t always reject simply because there is a misspelled word or two, or the margins are slightly off. We reject when there are too many and it tosses us out of the story too often. Anything that tosses the reader out of the story isn’t a good thing. You want to avoid that as much as possible. 

If you can avoid doing the above, then you will be in a much better position to be accepted by Hook’ers and agents alike. Polish and refine, peeps. Polish and refine.  Do some research and continue to improve yourself. Set yourself up for success.

Oh, and if you want to read a great book on how to make the first pages of your manuscript shine, check out The First Five Pages: The Writer’s Guide to Staying Out of theRejection Pile by Noah Lukeman. If you don’t have this book in your writer’s library, I highly suggest you do. It’s a great book to own.

Preserving the raw edge of your writing

Lovely summer morning to all of you!

It's finally July, with hot dogs, lemonade and lots and lots of sunscreen for the Heliophobics like me. Not to mention my favorite hometown event, the Cache Valley Cruise in. Where old cars get glossed up like new and cruise down main street on a balmy Saturday night. But before the main event, cars park at the local fair ground for bragging rights, haggling buyers, and big-time stories of how they got, or almost lost their pride and joy.

I could spend all day there perusing hot muscle cars and their hard working owners, but my camera had another idea. Every so often, between the pristine white Camaro and the Sapphire Studebakers, a unique piece of art catches my lens. I'm not sure why I like it. Maybe because there's a story in there somewhere, or maybe because it shows true to life and time. Maybe because it sticks out like a sore but prideful thumb. Its something that dares to be different in a world of spit and polish. I envy it in a way.

It reminds me of one angelic critique partner of mine that dared to throw her memoir out for the whole world to see. Her voice rang proud and clear in her writing, and true to her young age. I loved it because it was raw and different and brave. Much like the cars at the show, it didn't try to polish into something it wasn't. A rare glimpse into history that, if modified, may have lost part of itself under all that luster.

I envy her too in a way, because she knows the raw edge of her writing and she has the pride to embrace it.

Friends, don't forget your edge when you sit staring at a blank page. Its what makes you unique. I know there are mountains of books published on the writing craft, but if every rule is followed, we'd wind up with cookie-cutter stories. I don't think New York wants that. They still angle for something unique. Much like my camera lens.