Go to your home!

Everyone has their home. Mine happens to be in the majestic Cache Valley. Where farm animals still graze on the outskirts and that small town mentality reigns supreme.  Where everywhere I turn, I find a story about the time I nearly wrecked your car, or kissed my first boy. I could go on and on.

There are locations too, like The Blue Bird restaurant, where they still make their own chocolate and gleaming, fifty-style soda dispensers crane over the edge of the bar.

That place has hosted countless prom dates gussied and gleaming for their big night—so has First Dam for that matter. It’s the most famous make out spot in town. Where fuming father’s pull their daughters from back seats, and a twinge of familiarity hits them. Not only for the coveted parking spot, but for the look of fear on the young man’s face.

One of my close friends told me this weekend. “Everybody who leaves Cache Valley always comes back.”

I kept expecting the maniacal laughter and wringing hands to follow. They didn’t.

Because he was right. It’s not always the family ties that bind us there either. There’s some kind of magnetic pull that draws us back to our homes.

Make sure you remember that, dear readers. Those basic everyone’s-my-neighbor feelings are present for everyone in some form or another.  It could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on our character’s past, but a great source of conflict either way. It's a great way to hook your reader

Need A Save The Cat Moment?

We like our conflict. Evey story needs conflict. But what do we do when we find that our characters have gone a little overboard with their enthusiastic opposition?

I'll tell you what you can do... You make them save the cat!

You may have already heard about a character’s need for a "save the cat moment". Some heroic or selfless act to prove that your character isn’t as mean and nasty as they appear. Screenwriter Blake Snyder is the ultimate resource for learning about save the cat moments. Pick up his book and you won't be disappointed.

I’m a voracious romance reader, and I’m not shy about telling you that I love me some Alpha hero like an ice cream cone in July, but their occasional frosty attitude can have a tendency to bite back. In situations like this when you feel like your character is unbelievably harsh,  you have to give them a break at humanity to keep your reader from throwing the book across the room.

And this is only a suggestion, but why not use even their save the cat moment to pile on a different layer of conflict and drag more information from your characters. For instance, let me introduce you to my cat.

Let’s just call her scruffy, my baby-doll tortoiseshell Himalayan.

Her mother and father were pedigreed. They had white, fluffy fur that appeared chalk-lined in the softest grey stripes and eyes as blue as a clear morning. A real match made in kitty heaven, those two.  

What they spawned, however, was my pretty little beast from hell.

Having been born with severe hip dysplasia, as misfortunate purebreds tend to do, she was medicated most of her life. When a storm front rolled in, you could see it in her pitiful three-legged limp.  But if anyone dare lift her into their arms for a comforting hug they might earn themselves a limp of their own.

She was the snottiest cat to have ever lived. She hated everyone.
Ahem, well, everyone but me, anyway.
If a stranger got too close, her greasy spikes would jut out like a porcupine. And yes, by the way, I did say greasy.

In addition to the hip displaysia she also had a condition called seborrhea. An overactive production of oil glands. To touch her would result in pulling back a well lubed hand (if you pulled back a hand at all). Huh... Who needs lotion, right?

She always looked drenched because the grease would mat her fur together in clumps. Visitors would often ask. “Did your kitty just get a bath?” Because she had that wet/pissed look permanently etched into her appearance.

And if her glare wasn't enough to scare you off, there was always her growl. A sound that must have been dragged up from the bowels of hell.

I’d like to see a hero try to save my cat. No, really I would. In fact, I may just write that into my next story!

Fat Girl In Skinny Jeans

Even at my skinniest, I hated trying on jeans (swimsuit shopping is a completely different beast that requires meds for me to address, so we’ll just go with jeans). 

There’s something ominous about slipping into a dressing room, staring into a carnival mirror, and seeing all my imperfections nagging back at me. Guilt, shame, regrets all roll through my mind. But no matter how much I beat myself up and curse that last donut, I can’t change the fact that until I recognize my insecurities and accept them, I’ll always be the fat girl in skinny jeans. 

I could say the same thing about writing. 

Some people jump into writing with the idea that they’ll be the next latest and greatest author and their book will outsell even Stephen King. I hate to break it to those folks, but it’s not gonna happen. (Unless their name rhymes with Shmephenie Shmeyer) Becoming a writer—a novelist—is not for the weak. It is brutal. 

The most important thing a writer can do as they hone their craft is to develop a thick skin—armor is more like it. Some think they can write their story, spell check it, and then wah-lah it’s ready for publication, but that is far from the case. Most writing is rewriting or editing, going back through the 'script, tightening up loose ends, and cleaning up clumsy sentences and plotting issues. 

My carnival mirror I use for writing comes in the form of a critique group. If you are a writer and don’t have one, I think you should find one asap. Beta readers are a great help, but unless your readers are writers or read anything they can get their hands on, chances are they won’t pick up on the things you need to perfect your ’script. The group also helps a writer deal with criticism—the good, the bad, and the ‘what the $%*#?’

There is nothing like sending a chapter to a critique member and getting it back littered with marks or highlighted with rainbow colors. It is overwhelming and disheartening . . . for about ten minutes. After the shock wears off and the suggestions evaluated, excitement rolls in and the real writing begins. Things start to click and ideas flow, at least in theory. 

My critique group has the tough, the tougher, and toughest of members. I can rely on each person to find something wrong and steer me in the right direction. Do I follow every suggestion? Nope, because I have to stay true to my voice and my vision. Tie goes to the writer. In turn, they support and rally behind me as I take on the next step of submitting to agents. 

Agents are overwhelmed with query letters and submissions—drowning in them. A person can’t rely on an agent or an editor to look at a manuscript and see its potential through all the grammar issues and plot holes; they want perfection. 

According to Noah Lukeman in The First Five Pages: 

“Agents and editors don’t read manuscripts to enjoy them; they read solely with the goal of getting through the pile, solely with an eye to dismiss a manuscript—and believe me, they’ll look for any reason they can, down to the last letter.” 

Why am I in this business again? Thankfully, I have a few friends who are standing outside the dressing room waiting for me to parade around in my new jeans. And when I emerge looking like a fool, they are the first to suggest a different size. Although it isn’t easy accepting a failure, I know that with a little hard work and one less donut, I may just be able to fit in the skinny jeans next time. 

And this is exactly why I’m so brutal with my critiques, actually I’m a bit softer lately to tell the truth. My acceptance rate for this blog is 23%, and a few of those were far too generous simply because the work was unpublished. I saw some potential and if the writer was willing to polish a bit more it could really deserve a four or five star rating.

I don’t know why people want fluff: the easy feedback that leaves an aftertaste in my mouth. I think it’s great to point out the positives in someone’s writing, but the point of a critique is to help improve the writing and writ-er. This is where I have a hard time. I want to be told what didn't work about my novel so I can fix it. I don't need coddled or placated or whatever other synonym you wanna throw in there. I want honesty, and I want someone to stand up for me, to make sure I'm not being an impetus ass who is running to the finish line before I'm ready.   

This is a rough business and if you aren’t willing to fight for your craft then maybe you need to return to writing for the love of it. I’ve read some nasty reviews on Amazon—horrible reviews. If you’re shooting for publication, traditional or self, you need to be the best you can be. Perfect and be open to feedback, good and bad. It isn't an easy place to get to, trust me, I know. There just comes a time when enough is enough. 

Rant over.

Thanks for looking, 

The Skeptical Hook’er

Unfortunate Inspiration

This blog post was originally posted on my first blog site: Literary Intentions. Thanks to an unexpected smack in the face,  I had to ditch my blog post in progress and go to plan B. 

Since I was a child, I’ve secretly scribbled out stories and poetry. I would tuck my creations away in an iridescent orange folder and slip it under my mattress—my secret, my coping mechanism for whatever life threw my way. I had always wanted to be a writer, but lacked the confidence to pursue my bliss. 

It wasn’t until a family tragedy knocked everything out of whack that I thought I had any sort of talent for it. My mother-in-law passed away a few years ago on Easter. It was sudden and unexpected. Her death not only shook the family but it became my inspiration to pick up a pen and write.  

A few days after the funeral, my four-year-old daughter interrupted story time to tell me something that had been weighing on her mind for some time. She said Grandma Strawberry (My daughter’s nickname for her Grandma Atteberry) was a fairy who visits her in her dreams and they go on wonderful adventures together. She said when her daddy felt sad and missed his mom, all he had to do was close his eyes and find her: she would be waiting for him. 

Through the eyes of a child . . . 

My mind marinated in my daughter’s words, and after I put her to bed, I had the overwhelming urge to write a story about Grandma Strawberry and her many dreamland adventures—free of pain and full of happiness. I shared the story with my sister-in-law who later said it came on a day when she needed a nudge, a simple reminder her mom was okay and that she would forever live on. Her response was my nudge to pursue something that allowed me to feel a different sort of purpose besides wife and mother. 

So, here I am nearly three years later.  I’ve written two novels and nearly finished a third.  I’ve placed in contests, and I’m currently seeking a literary agent. The one downside to it all is the fact that my mother-in-law isn’t here to root me on. She was a voracious reader, but more than that, she loved how a book made her feel. The waves of emotions, ebbing and flowing, freed her mind from the constant pain tearing through her body. The woman who sacrificed so much for her children could simply pick up a book and be whoever she wanted to be. I miss her, but thanks to my daughter, I now know when I need a little inspiration all I have to do is close my eyes and welcome the adventure.


In a world full of rejection, where do you find your inspiration? What keeps you clutching your pen fast in your hand? 

Thanks for looking, 

The Skeptical Hook’er 

Think readers care about fancy prose? Well, think again.

Tell me again, Ms. Myers, how PERFECT he is! I need no other other description than that.

Here’s the thing about writing—readers don’t appreciate fancy words and intelligently written prose. It’s true. It is. For the most part readers don’t even care about GOOD writing (does a certain shiny vampire come to mind? Just saying). You can slave away trying to perfect the most amazing sentence, paragraph, or novel, but I’m telling you right now, most likely, no one will even notice. 

I’ve been there as a reader. I’ve done the very same thing. I hate to admit this, but here I go anyway, I read the shiny vampire book in one day—beginning to end. Ahh, I opened up to you. Please don’t stone me. You may hate her writing. You may dis her and whatnot, but guess who’s laughing her way to the bank, folks—the lady who wrote “Green leaves were swaying in the wind, greenly.” Why? Because readers are interested in a good story. And whether you liked the shiny vampire or not, she told a humdinger of a tale and several million people loved it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to ignore your commas or toss aside rules of grammar and adverb usage (I hate adverbs). But what I am saying is this, don’t get so caught up in the form and style of writing that you forget to tell a great story.

The number one thing writers want and care about most: the story. It is then followed by character development , theme, and then atmosphere/setting (The Writer, August 2011, Laura Miller). I have yet to hear a writer commend the actual writing—“The story was so-so, but the word usage was superb!”

Ain’t gonna happen. If a reader does say this, then they’re just plain weird.

Also in The Writer, August 2011 article written by Laura Miller, she goes on to say the following (which I find perfect and decided to quote directly): “You probably don’t go to the movies to see the lighting and photography, and most readers don’t come to books in search of a breathtaking sentence.”

I couldn’t agree more.

And I’m thrilled.

Here’s why—I’m not an eloquent writer. I may have one sentence, two if I’m lucky, that someone might say, “Hey, that’s good stuff. I’d better underline that.” But for the most part, my writing is at par. Nothing fancy. Nothing to earn a MFA degree with, and I’m okay with that.

BUT, I do think I spin a good story. I work really hard to keep my readers engaged and desiring to read the next chapter, and the next one, and the next one.

That’s my goal. I love The Hunger Games, and I use that book somewhat as my model, my Holy Grail, if you will. Was the writing to just die for? Nope. Not one bit. But the story sure was! She had me hanging on by my nails, nervous and afraid for Katniss and Peeta, sitting in bed for a full day in my pjs, unshowered, because I simply couldn’t function until I knew how the story ended.

THAT’s the kind of story I want to write. That’s my hope and desire anyway.

Of course, my true goal is to write a fantastic story that is written well. I’m constantly trying to make sure my writing doesn’t make me look like an idiot—improve, improve, improve. But, without a great story, who will care that I “show” more than I “tell” or that I found a way to eliminate all to-be verbs from my writing (wouldn't that be awesome)?

These are the stories I’m looking for as well amongst the many, many, many submissions we’ve received. I want a good story. Give me something different, something that makes me say, “Holy cow! I need to read more of this!” We've had a few. But I sure would love to see more.

The Reluctant Hook’er

P.S.  I posted the question, “What do you think readers value more? A good story or good writing?” on twitter.

Though several responses indicated that good writing should be the most valued, there were far more responses that placed a good story above that of good writing. Many even went on to say that they would 

forgive bad writing, if the storyline was excellent.

I’d love to know what you think? So please leave a comment. (I love me some comments. They make me so happy).

The Car Ride: Banter Vs. Bickering

Isn’t it funny how a simple family drive can turn to all out war in a matter of milliseconds? The kids screaming, the radio blaring, the vehicle rolling through rush hour traffic at a snail’s pace. No one can escape; you’re all strapped into a road trip from hell until you reach your final destination. That is unless you’re still close enough to turn back for home. Do people really do that by the way? I’ve always heard it threatened. Never seen it done though.

When it comes to conflict with our characters, we must be careful not to strap our readers in for an adventure and give them the car ride from hell instead. For a reader, getting there is half the fun. Making them work to hard through obstinate characters will cause them to throw your book out the window.

 A lot of fun can be had with playful banter, but you must take care not to let it turn into bickering.  The “yes I did” “No you didn’t” dialog can only last so long without a strong enough conflict and even then you may be stretching your readers patience if you let it drag on too long without change or resolution.

I’m not really an expert on literary debate, but I do have a few tips for keeping your character conflict fresh.

·         Make it funny- Throw in a few jokes here and there to liven things up.

·         Make it hot- if bantering could hold any angle for increasing the sexual tension between characters, go for it!

·         Keep it playful- little nicknames and witty comebacks are always welcome

·         And above all else, use the banter advancing the plot.

Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

I recently moved back to my hometown just in time for one of the best fireworks shows west of the Mississippi—so they say. As I lay on my blanket, I scanned the crowd and a reoccurring theme rolled through my mind: just because a person can do something, doesn’t mean they should. 

Here’s my list of observations from the Fourth:

Just because a girl has boobs doesn’t mean everyone wants to see them, especially if the girl is 14/16ish. What’s up with all the young girls and the boob shirts?

Just because a seven year old can use a sparkler, doesn’t mean a two year old should. Do I really need to explain this? Two year olds are dangerous with popsicles. Markers. Chocolate. Why oh why would an exploding stick be a good plaything?

Just because you have an extra beer doesn’t mean you should give it to your drunken uncle. Just saying.

Just because a person can use the “f” word in the most creative of ways, doesn’t mean he should. I think it’s great that someone is learning to diversify their language by taking a swear word and turning it into an adjective, a noun, an adverb, a verb, a pronoun, a modifier, a whatever else they can. I’m happy you can do so, but not everyone thinks you’re clever.

Just because a person can wear smaller clothes, doesn’t mean she should. I am not trying to dis on larger people, especially since I am not the most svelte girl at the party. What I’m trying to suggest is wearing clothes that don’t cause pain for the wearer because it is too tight or clothes that make wobbly bits look even more wobbly. Looking like a tied up pot roast isn’t as attractive as eating the pot roast. With potatoes. Mmm. And gravy.

Okay, enough of this. You get the point. So how does this relate to writing? 

One of the great things about being an artist is your creation is your own. You can do whatever you want as long as you have someone who appreciates it. We are all starving for approval aren’t we? That’s one of the reasons for this blog. We want validation for our hard work. But just because we have the freedom to write whatever we want doesn’t necessarily mean we should.

*I am not going to go into a lot of detail because most of these can be blog posts of their own. This is just a quick look at a few things to think about. Please add your own in the comments section.

Prologue: Just because prologues and epilogues exist doesn’t mean we have to use them. I dislike them, and I really dislike them when they are used as a ploy or a “dot, dot, dot” moment to create drama, like an artificial hook. Start with the story. If the story doesn’t make sense without one, then maybe throw one in.

Dialect: Just because your character is Irish or British don’t overwhelm us with perfect dialect. It becomes cumbersome and pulls me out of the story. I like a bit of dialect, especially if I find a good line or two I can say out loud, but too much is too much. Add a bit of stuff here and there, the reader will get it.

Swearing: I read The Art Of Racing In The Rain by Garth Stein not too long ago. It was a book from the dog’s p.o.v. I loved most of it, but the one thing that really bugged me was the few times the author popped in the f-bomb. There wasn't many times. Maybe a handful, but each time it felt weird or out of place. When a writer goes nearly most of the book without using the word and then all of a sudden pops one in, it changes something for me. It sticks out. If it makes sense then I’m good, but when it is unnecessary, I find myself questioning the author in other areas.

Sex scenes: Just because you’re writing a love story or romance doesn’t mean you have to write a sex scene. If you are uncomfortable writing love/sex scenes, don’t do it. It will come off awkward. I know; I suck at them. I leave that stuff to my Rabbit In The Hat Hook’er. She writes some spicy stuff, but she is comfortable and it comes off that way. That shouldn’t dissuade you from writing romance though if you love it. Some of the best scenes are the ones where I was left at the door. Left to my own imagination.

I just picked the first four that popped in my head. If you could write a Just-Because-You-Can list for writing what would you include?

Preserving the raw edge of your writing

Lovely summer morning to all of you!

It's finally July, with hot dogs, lemonade and lots and lots of sunscreen for the Heliophobics like me. Not to mention my favorite hometown event, the Cache Valley Cruise in. Where old cars get glossed up like new and cruise down main street on a balmy Saturday night. But before the main event, cars park at the local fair ground for bragging rights, haggling buyers, and big-time stories of how they got, or almost lost their pride and joy.

I could spend all day there perusing hot muscle cars and their hard working owners, but my camera had another idea. Every so often, between the pristine white Camaro and the Sapphire Studebakers, a unique piece of art catches my lens. I'm not sure why I like it. Maybe because there's a story in there somewhere, or maybe because it shows true to life and time. Maybe because it sticks out like a sore but prideful thumb. Its something that dares to be different in a world of spit and polish. I envy it in a way.

It reminds me of one angelic critique partner of mine that dared to throw her memoir out for the whole world to see. Her voice rang proud and clear in her writing, and true to her young age. I loved it because it was raw and different and brave. Much like the cars at the show, it didn't try to polish into something it wasn't. A rare glimpse into history that, if modified, may have lost part of itself under all that luster.

I envy her too in a way, because she knows the raw edge of her writing and she has the pride to embrace it.

Friends, don't forget your edge when you sit staring at a blank page. Its what makes you unique. I know there are mountains of books published on the writing craft, but if every rule is followed, we'd wind up with cookie-cutter stories. I don't think New York wants that. They still angle for something unique. Much like my camera lens.  

Just Say NO to Adverbs

Ode to Adverbs by Angela Scott, the Reluctant Hook'er

Erase it! Delete its lowly existence.

Eradicate the ghastly adverb!

Beg for writerly repentance!

One goes easily unnoticed, forgivable.

But more cripples the senses.

They stab me deeply in my critic’s eye

Like lowly white picket fences.

They unleash my critic’s fiery tongue,

And I abhor the writer of such prose.

I hate the use of adverbs, you twit!

I thumb at you my nose.

Erase them, I plead of you.

Nothing good can be drawn from their use.

To write with unnecessary adverbs

Only tightens your newbie noose.

I have used several here,

An example to make a visionary point.

Adverbs are purely unnecessary

They only sadly disappoint.

Should you continue to write them,

And ignore my witty, yet insightful, ode.

Then it’s off with your head

For you’ve broken the Stephen King code!

Oh, my goodness! I write this stupid little poem in response to a book I just picked up (and subsequently sat back down) this morning. The over use of adverbs just about KILLED me. I kid you not.

On page 3 of the novel that shall remain nameless, I counted twelve adverbs: gravely, absently, delicately, calmly, pensively, firmly, lightly, ominously, deadly, quickly, sightlessly, silently. 

Twelve! Twelve feakin' adverbs!

Ummmm . . . BOOM! (Head explodes).

That is pure insanity right there. The sad thing, this is a published book through a publishing house (albeit a small publisher, but still). What the heck? Where was the editor? Why didn’t someone say, “What the *bleep* are you doing here? Erase those you fool!” 

Adverbs are a nasty thing. Just nasty. I’m not the only one who thinks this way either.

David Weedmark had this to say about adverbs, “Basically, in my opinion, any book with more than one adverb per page should have every adverb cut out, and then stapled to the author’s fingers.”

Extreme? Yes. And though I’m not a violent kind of gal, I’m thinking this could be a useful tactic in eradicating adverbs, the majority of them anyway, from novel pages.  I mean, who doesn't know that adverbs suck and should be used at a minimum? Where had this writer been hiding? Jeez. Poor lady.

Stephen King, in his book On Writing, said the following, “ Adverbs are not your friends . . . Adverbs seem to have been created with the timid writer in mind . . . To put it another way, they’re like dandelions. If you have one in your yard, it looks pretty and unique. If you fail to root it out, however, you find five the next day . . . fifty the day after that . . . and then , my brothers and sisters, your lawn is totally, completely, and profligately covered with dandelions.”

Adverbs only “try” to beef up weak verbs, but fail in almost every case. It’s that simple. There’s really no usefulness to them (feel free to debate me on this if you like). But, once adverbs are eliminated and replaced with strong action verbs, the response to your writing will be incredible. I promise you this. It will not jar the reader out of the story, AND it will allow the reader to invest more of themselves into your fictional world. Isn’t that what every writer wants? I would hope so.

As for this poor author, I feel for her. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and continued to read a little more of her novel, but the adverbs, even after page three, were thick and torturous. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't read any more. It hurts too much. She may have had a great story and concept, but the adverbs destroyed her novel. (To be fair, this was NOT a submission to our site for review. This was a book I won, myself, through a blogfest).

Don't let adverbs destroy your work. Just say no. 

Okay, I thought a writing exercise for you might be fun (no boo’s, it totally could be).

I’d love to see how many adverbs you can jam into a 100 word paragraph. Let’s take the adverbs we so desperately want to use in our novels, but know we won’t because it’s against the law—the Stephen King law—and cram them into a paragraph as a way of saying goodbye to weak verbs for forever and HELLO to strong verbs from now on.

Go ahead and give it a try. Be creative. Who knows, there might be a prize involved. *Nods head and raises brows* There totally could be.