Well, folks. It was fun while it lasted.

As you can see, not much has been happening on this blog lately.

There are several reasons for this, but I will only hit on a couple:

First: It's amazing how much can change in a couple of months--both in our personal lives and on the writing front. A couple of us have signed publishing contracts, and so the need to write, edit, market, promote HAD to take preference over this blog and the services we were providing.

Second: Running this blog, critiquing submissions, providing feedback...well, that's a LOT of dang work. We weren't getting paid for this service. We had a concept and we went with it--for free--not realizing how much time it would involve with very little (nothing) in return for our effort.

Third: Probably the biggest factor that made us come to this decision, was the fact that a good portion of the submissions we received just weren't ready. They needed more revision. We were wanting to give out reviews on AMAZING, fully complete, well edited novels. 90% of what we received didn't come close.

So we've shut it down. We've moved on.

If you liked our comments and our posts, you can check us out on our individual blogs:

Angela Scott: www.whimsywritingandreading.weebly.com or @whimsywriting on twitter or http://www.facebook.com/AngelaScottWriter

D.S. Tracy:

Kacey Mark:

Showing posts with label problems with first five pages submissions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label problems with first five pages submissions. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Picky Hook'ers & Mistakes to Avoid in Your First Five Pages

Posted by Ready, Aim, Hook Me at 6:17 AM 2 comments
As I’ve mentioned before in an earlier blog post, we’re rejecting a lot of submissions. They’re just not hooking us. The first five pages should snare us, wet our appetite, and have us begging for more, but it just isn’t happening as much as we'd like. 

Are we too mean and picky? Maybe.
Should we relax our standards? Never.

Most agents ask for the query, the synopsis, and a “taste” of your work. Did you know that most agents, after reading the query, skip right to the sample pages? For the most part they could care less about the synopsis or plot of your story. They want to see what your writing style is like. They can get a good sense of who you are and what you have to offer—everything they need to know about you as a writer can be found in those first few pages of your novel. Then, and only then, if they like what they see will they take a look at the synopsis to determine if your story idea is intriguing, new, and fresh, something they want to represent. 

Oh, those first few pages! They can make or break you. It doesn’t seem fair, does it? But agents are busy people. Editors even more so. And Hook’ers are no exception either. 

So, just to give you an idea of what things we’re seeing that tend to cause us to say no (things you hopefully can avoid), I’ve compiled the following list: 

1)      1) Stories starting in the wrong place. Get us into the meat of the story right away. If you start your novel with too much backstory and setup, then we will pass. 

2)       2) Clichéd beginnings. Examples: (YA) The female/male main character comes to school and sees a new kid (girl/boy) in the office registering for classes (I can count on both hands the instances of stories starting off that same or similar way—Twilight, I Am Number Four . . .).  For romance, any type of romance, the opening starts off with the female main character jogging. Enough said. For some reason, female characters must be joggers, because, it’s only through jogging that they happen to come across the main male character (vampire, sexy alien, werewolf, super buff dude). 

3)       3) Starting off with a pretty cool hook/opening line, but then dropping it and never coming back to it. There have been a couple submissions in which that opening sentence was like wow, I need to read more. But then the story takes off in a different direction and leaving us feeling confused and mislead. 

4)       4) Too many modifiers.  The over use of adverbs, adjectives, and metaphors. (You know how much I dislike adverbs). 

5)       5) The cadence or sound of the novel reads funny.  Try reading your words out loud. Listen to the beat of the words as you say them. Even though they are written, they do need to have a smooth flow.

6)       6) Too much stage direction. You don’t have to tell the reader EVERYTHING the character is doing. It’s okay to end dialogue with simply “he said”. That’s good. Some narrative is great and appreciated. It breaks up the use of dialogue tags. But TOO many can be jarring. Find a balance. 

7)    7) Not having a clean submission. I’m not talking dirty, gritty words here (Hook’ers can handle it), what I mean is that the manuscript has either punctuation problems, or margin issues, or copy/crossover over issues.  Now, we don’t always reject simply because there is a misspelled word or two, or the margins are slightly off. We reject when there are too many and it tosses us out of the story too often. Anything that tosses the reader out of the story isn’t a good thing. You want to avoid that as much as possible. 

If you can avoid doing the above, then you will be in a much better position to be accepted by Hook’ers and agents alike. Polish and refine, peeps. Polish and refine.  Do some research and continue to improve yourself. Set yourself up for success.

Oh, and if you want to read a great book on how to make the first pages of your manuscript shine, check out The First Five Pages: The Writer’s Guide to Staying Out of theRejection Pile by Noah Lukeman. If you don’t have this book in your writer’s library, I highly suggest you do. It’s a great book to own.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

So, Do You Like My Submission Or What?

Posted by Ready, Aim, Hook Me at 9:38 PM 6 comments
“Hey, hook’ers! What’s the deal-io? Where’s my review?”

I know, I know. It's like an agent or a publisher all over again. Except this time it's three women who willing accept the title of "hook'er" dangling the unknown over you. What's up with that? 

The three of us were surprised by how many submissions we’ve received. We’re plowing through the stack as fast as we can, I promise, but we are not even close to hitting the end. We’ve sent some rejections and a few requests for more, but we still have even more waiting for us.

Our plan is to have first round submissions dated through 6/7/11 looked at by next weekend (fingers crossed). After that, we are going to focus on getting our first review out, provided we stay hooked.

So what kind of things are we seeing?


*Here's the part where I wing it for the rest of the post because I have no idea what the heck to blog about. 


I’m actually surprised at the variety of genres we’ve received. I thought we’d get flooded with YA, but we have everything from Historical Fiction to Middle Grade with a bunch of Romance and Sci-fi in between.

There have been some submissions that I couldn’t get through the first page and others that I had me happily requesting more. There are some that are hastily published—sorry, but it’s true—and others that could be picked up now if someone would give a newbie a chance. Most could do with another round of edits and a read through from someone besides M-O-M.  

One of the biggest problems I see with several entries is starting the novel in the wrong place. A false start of sorts. Back story, unnecessary or boring prologues, aimless chatter, or scenes that don’t further the story are sitting center stage.

And the other biggie is the lack of sensory details. Sensory details not only plant pictures in our minds, but they help develop characters. We see what they see and how they react to it. One thing I've done to help me with this is to pay attention to the first five things I notice when I walk into a room. Those same five things will probably not be an exact match to everyone. Depending on gender, height, weight, perspective, age, whatever, what is important or catches our eye will be different. How we perceive them, describe them will also vary. It is our experiences, our personalities, our mood that day that shapes those details. Our characters aren't any different. 

So, here's an exercise.


 Look at the picture below. Without looking at anyone else's comments, tell me two things you notice right away. Are they the same things your MC would notice?  If you'd like to describe them using sensory details from either your viewpoint or MC, please share. If not, well, you'll have to wait and see (dot, dot, dot).








If you don't like the first one, try the second. 




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