tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18006272333089013012024-02-18T22:08:55.807-08:00Ready, Aim, Hook MeThree Women. One Red Pen.
A Whole Lot Of Snide and Cynicism.Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-57626515852324537542011-10-10T07:48:00.000-07:002011-10-10T07:48:37.796-07:00Reading Writing and Competition<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaikzygNtnr8vYIBrouNmpRZWkwYfAdsisxk7XCAiCgGiz6JJCOUykOUe5IQQ8EJeRWSCHPZmZSZ8GTUtL99jl97XTqS7cnZJi-bvet1pF8GJV7_FjSWL1b52bDRcy0bD2ecJZz_ZbJK8B/s1600/imagesCALUZ8E5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaikzygNtnr8vYIBrouNmpRZWkwYfAdsisxk7XCAiCgGiz6JJCOUykOUe5IQQ8EJeRWSCHPZmZSZ8GTUtL99jl97XTqS7cnZJi-bvet1pF8GJV7_FjSWL1b52bDRcy0bD2ecJZz_ZbJK8B/s200/imagesCALUZ8E5.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>I once heard someone say that getting published in romance was like throwing a hundred women in one room with a chain saw and locking the door. Only the last one standing would make their way out.<br />
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I would like to say that's true, even if only for entertainment sake. I'm sure that the conference would be a lot more entertaining to outsiders if we were indeed that vicious. Our attendance numbers would skyrocket! In fact, I'd bet the men would be all lined up and shoveling in the popcorn if it were true. It might even make for great reality TV! <br />
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Course the men's mere presence would probably distract the best writers in our genre and we'd loose some valuable heads!<br />
I attended the Utah Heart of the West conference this weekend. Surrounded by throngs of starry-eyed romance authors and only a handful of editors and agents to pitch to. <br />
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Believe it or not, we actually behaved ourselves. We practiced pitching together. Gave each other constructive feedback and we had a blast doing it.<br />
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There were no hurt feelings--at least that I could tell. And the end result after pitch sessions was nothing but positive if not immense thanks to our peers. <br />
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Newcomers to the conference were embraced with open arms. The comedy and the alcohol were free flowing--Shhh! but don't tell anyone. This is the straight-laced state after all. I think there might be some kind of unwritten regulation about boisterous <em>Yauuups!</em> and laughter that late at night.<br />
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The only tension I found at conference was my own. Shaking like a leaf in front of the entire lunchon as I presented this year's Heart of the West Writing contest winners. And what an honor!<br />
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When I read out the names, those winners in attendance were cheered and congratulated without restraint!<br />
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True, the road to publication can be much like a game of roulette. There's a chance you may publish and a chance you may not, but I can say that the women at the URWA will work hard with each other, through strength and support, to get there.Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-58432479654679792062011-10-06T19:58:00.000-07:002011-10-06T19:58:39.885-07:00Spray it! Don't Say It!<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Word choice is huge when it comes to writing. In one of the Reluctant Hook’er’s posts, she did her best to convince us that even the first word is important. Some may agree, and others won’t. I know someone who would agree—pre-Katie Holmes era</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/WK3XqGAhqaM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">At a recent writer’s convention, the Reluctant Hook’er and I wandered from class to class in our best Hook’er shoes and listened to published writer’s on various topics. One of the things that stuck out the most, besides one ladies’ Richard Simmon’s Style Hot Pink Sparkly mess of a hat, was making sure writing is show not tell. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So what was it about Tom Cruise’s “you had me at hello”? I know it was a movie but one of the most important things to do with your words is to make us forget we are reading, make us see it—like a movie. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Right before this scene, the show-me-the-money guy made his career with a great catch and a little dance. As cameras surrounded him, he took a call from his wife. We had already seen the couple’s relationship contrasted throughout the movie. Cuba and his wife loved each other. They kissed, pawed at each other, and fought with passion, all the while, Jerry and Bridget Jones exchanged awkward glances and feigned affection.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span> </span>Jerry Maguire watched his client break down as he spoke to his wife. Jer had seen the love and devotion before. Only this time, he knew what he needed to do. We knew it too. It was a look. It was in his actions. The moment would not have been the same if he said, “I finally realize what I need to do. I need to go to go tell my wife she completes me.” <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I know that sounds ridiculous and something you would never do in your writing, but I see it so many times. It’s called R.U.E. and if you’ve read my blog before you’ve probably seen it pop up. <b>Resist The Urge To Explain</b> in your writing. Don’t sell your reader short. We aren’t totally stupid. We get things. We can read between the lines.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><i><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Show</span></i><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> us the need Jerry has for his wife, make us believe it, <b>before</b> the scene above even happens. We need the experience. We need to forget we’re reading a book. We need to root him on, still wondering if he’ll do what’s right. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, let’s test your knowledge. Which of the following sentences is telling and which are showing? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">1.</span><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> <b> 1.</b> </span></span></span></b><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“I like your hat,” she said sarcastically. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">2.</span><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> <b> 2. </b></span></span></span></b><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My mind stirred with trepidation. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">3.</span><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b> 3.</b> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I saw the look in his eyes and I knew he wanted me. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">4.</span><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> <b> 4.</b> </span></span></span></b><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The jagged pieces of broken glass reminded me of my father, unapproachable and dangerous. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">5.</span><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">5.</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></b><b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The crisp evening bit at my cheeks, freezing my tears, it was then I knew I’d always be alone. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Show me your skills if you want. Rewrite any of the sentences you think are telling. Show <i>me</i> the money. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><br />
</div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-52698711511588795712011-10-05T06:32:00.000-07:002011-10-05T06:36:44.446-07:00Writing Pet Peeve #1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.spinsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Questions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.spinsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Questions.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">I don't like questions. Not on query letters. Not on book descriptions on Amazon or on back cover book blurbs. I especially don't like characters asking internal questions either.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">You're probably wondering what I'm talking about, so let me give you a couple of examples:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>From a book cover</u>: <i>He must win her love to save her life, but will he be able to convince her that he's her one true love before it's too late? </i>Umm...should I care? Because I don't. I don't even know the guy. He could be a total jerk. Maybe she's better off without him. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>From a query letter</u>: <i>Will she find her mother? Will her mother accept her now that she knows the truth? What will happen to Clara if her mother rejects her again? **** is a story about a mother/daughter relationship</i>....yada, yada, yada </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>Narrative:</u> <i>Did she think she could calm the babe when none of the experienced Puritan matrons could? 'Twas not a punishable offense to offer one's aid, was it? Of what consequence was the woman's pride when the babe's life was in jeopardy? Was she listening to his hungry wails, her heart breaking as she watched him starve to death? </i>I ran all these questions together even though this is not how it is presented in the book--but these questions are found within four consecutive pages. That's far too many. This particular book was littered with internal questions. It kept pulling me, as a reader, out of the urgency of the situation by making me come up with answers. Reading shouldn't be a test.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">The problem with posing questions is that as a writer, you've taken the situation and reduced it's urgency. You are now asking the reader to "fill in the blanks" and most likely the answers you are hoping for won't be the ones you actually get. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Never underestimate the power of a STATEMENT. Every one of those questions could have been reworked and turned into statement that would have been far more powerful than any question ever could be. AND readers gravitate to powerful writing as well as agents and editors (take a a look at <a href="http://queryshark.blogspot.com/2011/06/206.html">Query Shark</a> and her reactions to query letters that pose questions as a means to hook the reader--she's not too fond of them). </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">So if you think that by posing a question in your book description on Amazon will hook your readers into buying it, or if you think adding rhetorical questions in a query letter will lure the agent into requesting a partial, you may want to think again. I am only one person, but I know I'm not alone when I say, rhetorical questions don't hook me--they turn me off from what could very well be a wonderful story. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">Also, check out your manuscript where your characters are posing internal questions (questions they are thinking but not speaking out loud) and read that section--most likely you will find that there is more power to the writing by simply removing them all together. If you feel the question is helpful or necessary, why not try reworking it into a statement:</span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>He must win her love to save her life, but he will need to convince her that he's her one true love before it's too late.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Now that her mother knows her past, Clara is afraid her mother will reject her again. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>She hoped she'd have the ability to calm the babe despite knowing the other Puritan matrons could not. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">(Okay, these aren't the best rewritten, but bear with me. Hopefully you can see what I was trying for).</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, the next time you see a writer pose a question, or you're thinking of writing one, ask yourself: Did this question produce the response the writer was hoping for? Did the question add to the narrative or distract? <---These questions are for discussion purposes, which is the action I'm hoping for :) Tell me what you think. I'd love to know.</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Angela Scott </b></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">The Reluctant Hook'er </span></i><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-63222983342488551792011-10-03T07:02:00.000-07:002011-10-03T07:02:14.108-07:00So Who are You Going to Be This Year?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfchklRKWiC_TTXqCx9p5ZkFlhAL3wLsoyBnb-Sk9CnhM7kPh4Qv94faPeC_AB3tnwjsU_s7wjE4tFvy3aXz320D3qWL5rXL1Tm821Uy0NLBUcZq0qn6eHwY0CkqtPcv7z_a02ncaVb-iH/s1600/imagesCAWEJMQG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="162" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfchklRKWiC_TTXqCx9p5ZkFlhAL3wLsoyBnb-Sk9CnhM7kPh4Qv94faPeC_AB3tnwjsU_s7wjE4tFvy3aXz320D3qWL5rXL1Tm821Uy0NLBUcZq0qn6eHwY0CkqtPcv7z_a02ncaVb-iH/s200/imagesCAWEJMQG.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Browsing through the endless collection of Halloween costumes this year, I found myself wondering exactly what kind of Halloween celebrationist I am--and no, celebrationist isn't really a word, but go with me on this.<br />
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I figure the Halloween scale must run from Pruney-faced, dress-up fuddy-duddy, to costume awesomealist.<br />
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And you remember the awesomealist. Those that make Halloween costume history by getting into full character and most likely annoying the hell out of everyone around them. They make a major statement and are difficult to forget.<br />
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I'll readily admit that can be both a good and a bad thing. <br />
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Me? I figure I must be somewhere in the middle. I dress up every year. I pick on friends and coworkers until they dress up too, but the end result is only semi-enthusiastic. I get that dopey tone in my voice when someone asks. "Now what are you supposed to be?"<br />
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Which by the way, must go down as an epic Halloween fail in my book. If you have to explain your costume, it isn't a costume. It's a candy-melted-mistake. You know, like the little candy corn blob that went terribly wrong in production.<br />
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As a writer I feel that I put myself into different perspectives all the time. <br />
But like my costumes, am I only going in semi-enthusiastic mode? <br />
It's an easy gear to slip into when your audience is on your mind. Or when you have to pitch your book in public. <br />
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During last year's URWA writer's retreat I attended, we were encouraged to take masks with us to the keyboard. A way to put aside the outside world and be someone else jabbing the keys. It works pretty well too.<br />
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So let's hear it. How are things going? Let's open a forum to see just how well our writer friends are fairing at the keyboard. Who's dressing up, and how's it working for you?Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-73021462980793193082011-09-26T09:39:00.000-07:002011-09-26T09:39:13.682-07:00Go to your home!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvdahs-I8Iiax_uzU-ohIRXDTw06pXyv6oJyOUy2qXHEYjpazdodPY7Q6zLLRdXgHZKVb6y1yW-wR5os6GWaW4n_pVzJRI49tfrxuVzFuVE6n7cghXJzhVfLEYeAZsUPdpfx_46ApPh0DE/s1600/tmb_Cover%252520IS%252520SPA09_fmt_full.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvdahs-I8Iiax_uzU-ohIRXDTw06pXyv6oJyOUy2qXHEYjpazdodPY7Q6zLLRdXgHZKVb6y1yW-wR5os6GWaW4n_pVzJRI49tfrxuVzFuVE6n7cghXJzhVfLEYeAZsUPdpfx_46ApPh0DE/s200/tmb_Cover%252520IS%252520SPA09_fmt_full.jpg" width="156" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Everyone has their home. Mine happens to be in the majestic Cache Valley. Where farm animals still graze on the outskirts and that small town mentality reigns supreme. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where everywhere I turn, I find a story about the time I nearly wrecked your car, or kissed my first boy. I could go on and on.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There are locations too, like The Blue Bird restaurant, where they still make their own chocolate and gleaming, fifty-style soda dispensers crane over the edge of the bar. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That place has hosted countless prom dates gussied and gleaming for their big night—so has First Dam for that matter. It’s the most famous make out spot in town. Where fuming father’s pull their daughters from back seats, and a twinge of familiarity hits them. Not only for the coveted parking spot, but for the look of fear on the young man’s face.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One of my close friends told me this weekend. “Everybody who leaves Cache Valley always comes back.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I kept expecting the maniacal laughter and wringing hands to follow. They didn’t.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Because he was right. It’s not always the family ties that bind us there either. There’s some kind of magnetic pull that draws us back to our homes. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Make sure you remember that, dear readers. Those basic everyone’s-my-neighbor feelings are present for everyone in some form or another. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on our character’s past, but a great source of conflict either way. It's a great way to hook your reader</span></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-20309537903844702662011-09-23T06:41:00.000-07:002011-09-23T06:42:36.874-07:00Pimped Paragraph #5<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><i>(Your comments are welcomed and highly encouraged. The author of this first paragraph submission is looking for all the constructive criticism they can receive to improve their opening hook. Do you agree with us Hook'ers? Disagree? Were you hooked and would want to read more? Let this author know).</i></span><br />
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ORIGINAL SUBMISSION (Genre: Adult Fantsy):</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style", serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Villeen’s father should’ve murdered her eldest brother. Now… now <em>she’d</em> have to finish it. She clenched her eyes shut, unable to look at the heap of rags in the corner. Pale flesh peaked from the half-shredded brown robes. The corner of a book dug into her breast, but she ignored the pain, only clutching it tighter, wishing she’d found it earlier. <br />
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<u>Angela Scott:</u><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">Villeen’s father should’ve murdered her eldest brother. <span style="background-color: lime;">Now… now (Not sure you need to echo this--I'd almost like a clarification, something along the lines of: Because he didn't, now she'd have to finish it. Does that make sense?)</span> <em>she’d</em> have to finish it. She <span style="background-color: yellow;">clenched</span> her eyes shut, unable to look at the heap of rags in the corner. <span style="background-color: magenta;">Pale flesh peaked from the half-shredded brown robes (I like this image--just be careful not to add to many modifiers).</span> The corner of a book dug into her breast, but she ignored the pain, only <span style="background-color: yellow;">clutching</span> it tighter, wishing she’d found it earlier. </span></span><br />
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I like how this begins. You've tossed us into some type of action, that is for sure. I'd read on. I do wish I had a better sense of of her feelings toward her brother. She clentched her eyes so I assume she doesn't want to kill him, yet the first couple of lines leave me thinking maybe he needed to be killed and she wants to kill him. The first line is a pretty good opener, too. <br />
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<u>D.S. Tracy:</u><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">Villeen’s father should’ve murdered her eldest brother. Now<strike>… now</strike> <em>she’d</em> have to finish it. She clenched her eyes <strike>shut,</strike> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">(can't clench them open, can you?)</span> unable to look at the heap of rags in the corner. Pale flesh peaked from the half-shredded brown robes. (<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">I wonder if you could just get rid of one of these. I paused for a moment, here. I got it, but for a split second I did pause with the rags vs. robes)</span> The corner of a book dug into her breast, but she ignored the pain, only clutching it tighter, wishing she’d found it earlier. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">(This sentence needs some work. Besides some modifier issues, it is a bit weak)</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style", serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style", serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">This has mystery and I like that. I think you </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">definitely</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> need to work on it a bit more. Make sure your word choices are spot on. Clench and clutch sound too similar. They are great verbs, but too close and would alter the sound of the piece. Same goes for rags vs. robes. The second line makes it read a bit like a back of blurb sentence. I'm not a fan of ellipses used for drama. It is artificial. Don't force me to feel a dun, dun, dun moment--just show me, make me feel the dun, dun, dun all on my own. Resist the urge to explain, or resist the urge to<i> dot, dot, dot.</i> I think you're off to a good start by creating intrigue. Fiddle with the wording a bit more. I'm interested, but not convinced. Thanks for sharing. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style", serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style", serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"> </span></span><br />
<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Kacey Mark:</span></u></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style";">Villeen’s father should’ve murdered her eldest brother. <span style="color: #ea9999;"><Excellent hook. Good job. I get the sense of a couple important characters, a conflict, and a hint of history all rolled into one.></span> Now… now <span style="color: #ea9999;"><You may want to rethink this. Using words like "now" pulls the reader out of the story. The reader thinks they are already in the here and now. When you use words like "now" it distracts and makes them question the timeline of the story></span> <em>she’d</em> have to finish it. She clenched her eyes shut, unab<span style="color: #f4cccc;">l</span>e to look at the heap of rags in the corner.<span style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span><span style="color: #ea9999;"><Great visceral, good emotion, love the conflict. so someone's in a heap of rags in the corner. That's interesting! Good, good, good.One question though... I can't seem to get my head around this stranger in rags in the corner. Is it a baby? A full grown man? Please let us know.></span> Pale flesh peaked from the half-shredded brown robes<span style="color: #ea9999;">.<Okay so we've moved from rags to robes, which in my mind have upped his social status. Just sayin'...Moving along...></span> The corner of a book dug into her breast,<span style="color: #ea9999;"> <Okay where did the book come from? I would have expected her to have a knife or a gun, or a club-something to finish the guy off with, unless the book holds spells, which would be cool></span> but she ignored the pain, only clutching it tighter, wishing she’d found it earlier.<span style="color: #ea9999;"> <So finding the book was the goal? I thought finishing Villeen off was the goal. Now I'm a little confused.></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style", serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #ea9999;">Try not to let all the color on my critique fool you. I really liked this piece. And it's not really red ink anyway it's salmon. Sort of a struggle-upstream-to-deliver-your-legacy kind of color. See, now doesn't it sound so much better that way?</span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Bookman Old Style", serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #ea9999;">This first paragraph has a lot of good things going for it. It got a little confusing at the end as to what the real goal was, but overall, I like it. I would for sure read on!</span></span></span></span>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-75041940941727197792011-09-21T08:22:00.000-07:002011-09-21T11:08:58.053-07:00Why your first paragraph is SO important<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSFH7HIsYrytFLV7S6qfJ68Cqu39JfadXd7FFWhPSS_kOOlnF8xJYzvWihvhg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="74" src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSFH7HIsYrytFLV7S6qfJ68Cqu39JfadXd7FFWhPSS_kOOlnF8xJYzvWihvhg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">As I mentioned last week, D.S Tracy and I went to a writer's convention over the past weekend. During the Saturday luncheon, there was a panel of editors and agents who read what was called the "First Page Slush Pile" while we ate our meals. These first pages came from those sitting in the audience. No names were revealed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">One at a time, a first page was pulled from the pile and one of the editors would start reading out loud to the whole crowd (several hundred people). Pretty daring, if I might add. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">As the piece was being read, if the remaining panel of editors and agents liked it, they kept their hands down and the reader would go on. If they didn't like it, they would raise their hand at the place where they, personally, would have rejected it. Once all the agents and editors hands were in the air, the reader stopped reading.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Not one piece that was presented made it to the end of the first page. EVERY piece was rejected. Some were rejected by the editors and agents half way through. Others were rejected on the VERY FIRST WORD. Others didn't even get passed the first paragraph. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">The agents and editors were tough, BUT they explained why those pieces didn't work--too many adverbs, too many adjectives, describing the setting or scene WAY TOO LONG, not jumping into the action right away, there was nothing to hook them to keep reading. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">As I sat there listening, I agreed with the agents and editors on all accounts. Most of the submissions were boring, describing the color of the male characters eyes or what the weather was. Others sitting near me were getting FURIOUS. They were not happy at all by what appeared as coldness and cruelty the agents and editors expressed toward these works. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">One lady was even so bold as to challenge the panel. She thought it was unfair that the agents and editors rejected these pieces of "art" so quickly. She said sometimes it takes 30 pages before the story picks up and she would NEVER reject a story without reading the first three chapters. Boy was she mad (you could see it written all over her face and in the tone of her words). It was a pretty tense moment for sure. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">The agents and editors went on to explain just how many query letters come across their desk in a year--thousands, folks. Thousands. And this is in addition to the regular work they are expected to complete each day as well (dealing with their already signed clients, contacting publishers and editors, etc . . .) They explained that YES, sometimes they reject a manuscript based on the first paragraph. It's that fast. It's that quick. Sometimes that's all the time they have. And because they've done this so long, they can usually tell by the end of a first page if the novel is worth their time to read on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Cold. Hard. Cruel. But it is the reality. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">That's why it is SO important to make your first paragraph, your first page, your first chapter the very best it can be. You are competing against a whole lot of other writers out there who want the same thing as you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">One gentleman on the panel (not an agent or editor, but a well-known author) even went on to say (paraphrasing here): "It's your first word that will hook an agent/editor to read the first sentence. It's the first sentence that will buy you the first paragraph and the first paragraph that will buy you the first page." </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Very true. It was never made so clear to me as watching that panel of agents and editors destroy the hopes of those individuals who submitted their first pages. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">We here at Ready, Aim, Hook Me have been "preaching" this concept since the very beginning when we started this blog--can you hook us with your first line, first paragraph, and so on. We didn't just make this up to torture you. I promise. We just know the realities of what you're up against. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Is it fair to be judged so quickly? No not at all. It's completely unfair. I will agree with you on that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Is it going to change? Nope. Agents and editors will reject you based simply on how your first paragraph reads. They will. I saw it in person. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">So you better darn well make your first word, first line, first paragraph, first page stand out--in a good way. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i>~The Reluctant Hook'er</i></span>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-28301630804366522592011-09-19T06:55:00.000-07:002011-09-19T07:31:02.657-07:00The Stories that Haunt Us<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQIC58IMfEKJIpzCXeV57xC3Yct7rCRAsG9ON0vDoSkOUpSOg4VgmflGzMW3r-K05wuJVFK22YxPQ10pF1R9exx8eyjkk56nRu3JyPISHFf7QzD1LtifvjF-trEa-ppoC4hJFmj914JHYm/s1600/imagesCA2WL5WP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" rba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQIC58IMfEKJIpzCXeV57xC3Yct7rCRAsG9ON0vDoSkOUpSOg4VgmflGzMW3r-K05wuJVFK22YxPQ10pF1R9exx8eyjkk56nRu3JyPISHFf7QzD1LtifvjF-trEa-ppoC4hJFmj914JHYm/s200/imagesCA2WL5WP.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hello all. Rabbit in a Hat Hook'er here. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fall is coming. Our fair state of Utah has that lingering chill that lasts throughout the day. The leaves are beginning to change around their edges. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Its the perfect time to start thinking ghost stories.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Just for now, let's put aside all judgment about whether or not ghosts actually exist. Let's welcome in early fall with an open mind while I introduce you to my pint-sized poltergeist, Emily.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Little Emily has been a mainstay in my life ever since I became a mother. She just kind-of added herself to my brood and remains underfoot even to this day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The most interesting thing I find about her, is that she doesn't haunt one single building or plot of land. She haunts me. Much like the characters running around in our heads, I can't seem to escape her. Not that I've really tried. She's pretty harmless with the exception of a bouncy ball or two thunked off the top of my head.</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My children seemed the first to recognize her presence. They were nervous about going into their playroom--as children often are about large, oddly shaped rooms. At first, I didn't think anything of it. But when my two-year-old announced there was a "ghosss in there" I was a surprised. I didn’t even think she knew what a ghost was!</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Toys would sound off in the middle of the night, and of course it always had to be the ones with voices or animal noises. Why my little ghostie doesn’t appreciate simple building blocks or baby dolls, I’ll never know. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My first visual encounter happened during a little game of hide and seek. I entered my youngest daughter's room to find the closet door cracked open. The lights off. I pushed the door open wide to the sight of a little girl with shoulder-length, dark hair. Her head bowed and an Awe-you-found-me look on her face. The first thought that sprang to my mind was, <em>This is not my child!</em> I jumped. My heart jumped too, right into my throat. But before I could even take a step back, she was gone!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It wasn't until I spent a few months at my sisters house, that I discovered Emily's fascination with me. My sister walked into her living room where I was sleeping on floor, and found a small girl perched on the sofa. Staring down at me! My sister told me later, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">"At first I thought it was my daughter, just as I was about to tell her to go back to bed and leave aunt Kacey alone, she disappeared. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I told my husband, 'I think our house guest has a house guest.'"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Could Emily be only a figment of my imagination? Maybe. Maybe not. But I will tell you one thing. Much like the characters running around in our heads, Emily won't be going away any time soon. Her story must be told. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I'll be lurking around the blog all day today. Feel free to ask any questions you have about Emily, and feel free to share any stories of your own!</span></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-84261077852481049132011-09-15T21:24:00.000-07:002011-09-15T21:24:14.645-07:00The Skeptical Hook'er's Corner: Blog Feature<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio7WKeJO_aV3S3psm3JzmqMMsOa62ceR9m7sgcT4HsTrpNUqwZw-WIbyAgsL5vXxlIOVjaP70KRMPCZuN1f9aCHL1eATcag3L1dm-cUzLygY4-pJNOhss4Ci-yUwLFZBTAIw6X85NUb9xN/s1600/images+%252812%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio7WKeJO_aV3S3psm3JzmqMMsOa62ceR9m7sgcT4HsTrpNUqwZw-WIbyAgsL5vXxlIOVjaP70KRMPCZuN1f9aCHL1eATcag3L1dm-cUzLygY4-pJNOhss4Ci-yUwLFZBTAIw6X85NUb9xN/s1600/images+%252812%2529.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I loved what Michael Offutt from SLC Kismet had to say on his Thursday blog: <a href="http://slckismet.blogspot.com/2011/09/understanding-men-to-write-your-fiction.html">Understanding Men To Write Fiction. </a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I found myself nodding my head, agreeing with absolutely everything he said. I’ve read a lot of submissions on our blog, written by women, in a male’s p.o.v. It’s great to try that, however, not everyone can jump in a fella’s head—unless you’re a fella. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve had male friends all my life, best friends. I’ve hung out with them, drank beer, fished, whatever, and no matter how much I’d like to think I know what it’s like in the male brain, I’m wrong. If I’m writing something strictly for a female audience, women can get away with writing how we think a man is, but when it comes to writing for the larger audience, we need to make sure we aren’t creating an “Edward”. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I think women like to think they know exactly how a man might act or say, but we really don’t have a clue. Michael mentions <i>Twilight</i> and why it resonated so much with young women and not men. I couldn’t agree more. I hated Edward and just because Jacob had a bizzillion abs, didn’t make him any more masculine in my eyes. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I don’t want to tell you too much about Michael’s blog because I want you to go out and read it yourself. I think he’s spot on and for female writers looking to develop their male characters more, go over and snatch a nugget or two of what he has to say. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I laughed a bit as I read his post because I recently had an experience I knew I had to blog about. I was lucky enough to step into a new world recently and for the love of chocolate and peanut butter ice cream, please don’t make me go back. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The laundry mat is a horrible place filled with weird “after fuzz” and questionable remnants of the load before yours that make me shudder still. After our washer died, I loaded my sorted clothes into several washers, making sure blacks were with blacks and whites were with whites. I measured my soap and let ‘er rip. Meanwhile, a young kid comes in with a laundry hamper. He grabs one arm full of clothes and stuffs it in one washer, dumps some soap in and moves on to the next. He doesn’t bother to sort, measure the soap, or anything. He just does his business and that’s that. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I catch a glance from another mom from across the room, our scowls of horror. How could he? Doesn’t he know how to do laundry? Didn’t his mother teach him? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I blamed it on his youth and left it at that, and then Mr. Tight Pants came strolling through the door. He lugged in black garbage bags of clothes and I couldn’t wait to see what he’d do. He was a contradiction first of all, with his well-pressed duds and yard bags. He looked good, so naturally he cared, right? He wasn’t going to integrate his clothes, right? Please? Nope. He grabbed one handful after the next, overstuffing the washer, plopped a dab of soap in, and walked out. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My head whipped around to the fellow mom in the room; we exchange a wtf sort of look. Then, lucky me, another dude came strolling in. I hadn’t seen him earlier, he had already stuffed his washers full of nonsense and was ready to fold his clothes. He grabbed a rolling cart and opened the dryer, pulling out whites, reds, blues, blacks, a rainbow of colors. He didn’t bother folding his clothes; he put them in his own garbage bag and left the mat. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m not suggesting that all men don’t separate their laundry, it’s just a lesson to show that just because someone does or thinks one way, doesn’t mean it holds true. We are two vastly different groups of people. And that’s okay. I like it that way. It makes things interesting. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Do you think you got a handle on the opposite sex in your writing? Do you agree with Michael?</b></span></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-3697896765615837052011-09-15T05:06:00.000-07:002011-09-15T06:25:29.126-07:00Pimped Paragraph #4<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><i>(Your comments are welcomed and highly encouraged. The author of this first paragraph submission is looking for all the constructive criticism they can receive to improve their opening hook. Do you agree with us Hook'ers? Disagree? Were you hooked and would want to read more? Let this author know).</i></span><br />
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ORIGINAL SUBMISSION (Genre: Young Adult Fantasy):</div><span style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I walked out onto a beach where I hadn’t set foot in forty-seven years. As I felt the smooth roundness of the small, chilly grains of sand shuffle gently beneath my feet, I felt a rush of excitement shoot through my body.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><b><u><br />
</u></b></span></span><br />
<b><u><span style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Angela Scott:</span></u></b><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I walked out onto a beach where I hadn’t set foot in forty-seven years. As <span style="background-color: lime;">I felt</span> the <span style="background-color: cyan;">smooth roundness</span> of the <span style="background-color: cyan;">small, chilly</span> grains of sand <span style="background-color: cyan;">shuffle gently</span> beneath my feet, <span style="background-color: lime;">I felt</span> a rush of excitement shoot through my body.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I will say, that even though there are some minor issues with this opening paragraph, so far of the four we've presented on this blog, this is the only one that would perhaps intrigue me to read on. Something is actually happening here. The other three were pretty generic. Now, that saying, this paragraph is coated quite heavy in modifiers (the blue). Sometimes, less can be more. Also, the use of the phrase "I felt" needs to be looked at again. Is there another way to say this? Show this? Especially in the last line? I think if you played with that last line, show me a smile on his face (I assume it's a guy. At least that's what I pictured) or a chill run up the spine--something. That will give me the same effect, and lets the reader know this character is excited without using the phrase "I felt". Just a suggestion. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><br />
<b><u><span style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Kacey Mark:</span></u></b><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I walked out onto a beach where I hadn’t set foot in forty-seven years. <span style="color: purple;">I like this line. It brings the reader right into the story with a sense of time and place, even the age of the main character. It also holds a bit of a hook. Why has it been so long since our character set foot here? </span>As I felt the smooth roundness of the small, chilly grains of sand shuffle gently beneath my feet, I felt a rush of excitement shoot through my body. <span style="color: purple;">This sentence felt a bit long but you've got some great sensory and visceral reactions there. Good job! And I agree with Angela, if you're in deep character point of view (POV) you don't really need to say "I felt" if you take out "As I felt" you'll notice that your sentence works perfectly without it and you inch closer to deep POV.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: purple; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style'; font-size: x-small;">Keep going! You're off to a great start!</span><br />
<span style="color: purple; font-family: 'Bookman Old Style'; font-size: x-small;"><br />
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<div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"><b><u><span style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14px;">D.S. Tracy:</span></u></b></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14px;">I walked out onto a beach where I hadn’t set foot in forty-seven years. <strike>As I felt</strike> the smooth roundness of the small, chilly grains of sand shuffle(d) <strike>gently</strike> beneath my feet; <strike>I felt</strike> a rush of excitement shoot through my body.</span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">I agree about the "I felt" that is actually one of my pet peeves. Most of the time it is unnecessary and can be deleted just like I showed. I don't think I'd do it like I did with the semi-colon, it needs to have a </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;">fluidity</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"> about it and a semi-colon is too much of a pause. Work with the sentence a bit, keeping the sensory in there and the tone. I think this is a nice start. I'm not totally sold, but first graphs are a pain in the arse and take a long time to get just right. BUT, because of the tone and sensory details, I'd read on. </span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">I'm not sure "shuffled" is the right word, I get what you mean with "gently" paired to it, but it needs to go. Shuffled alone, doesn't seem soft enough. Keep playing with it. Word choice is very important. The least amount, yet more descriptive words, lead to tight writing. Walked, for instance is a bit generic, doesn't really tell me much about her. It is okay, but something to think about</span>. </span></span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: 'Bookman Old Style',serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14px;"><br />
</span></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-76688456152079087342011-09-14T05:15:00.000-07:002011-09-14T05:15:07.602-07:00It's that Time of Year! Writer's Retreat!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.toastmasters.org/OtherImages/ConventionLocations.aspx" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="http://www.toastmasters.org/OtherImages/ConventionLocations.aspx" width="320" /></a></div>It's that time of year again, and BOY and I excited! It's the I'm-going-away-for-the-weekend-meeting-up-with-D.S. Tracy-and-having-a-blast-at-a-writer's-convention-retreat!<br />
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If you've never been to a writer's convention, I highly suggest you look into doing so. Every state offers them, you just need to know where to look. Yes, some can be a bit pricey, but the valuable information you gleam from these conventions, not to mention the contact you make with other writers, will be well worth the cost.<br />
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Some of the one hour long classes that will be offered at our particular convention are:<br />
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Problem, the Core of the Story<br />
Dialogue, It's not just People Talking<br />
Horror and Dark Fantasy Writing<br />
Writing the West (HELLO--zombie, western romance by yours truly)<br />
Voice and Style<br />
The Creative Process, Coming up with Story Ideas the Rock<br />
Writing Action<br />
Don't Tell Your Story, Show it (Isn't that what we're always saying)<br />
Pacing, and Writing at the Speed of Life<br />
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There are actually several other classes offered as well, not to mention the speakers and the opportunity you have to sign up to pitch your work to editors and agents. You WILL walk away having learned something new to apply to your own work.<br />
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Conventions allow you to surround yourself with other like-minded people who LOVE doing the same thing you LOVE to do--write. You can build a network of friends, find critique buddies (I did), and generally have an amazing time.<br />
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Any chance I have to get away from my family for a few days and learn more about the craft makes me one happy camper. And no matter what stage of the writing process you are in--whether new to writing, have been writing for decades, or even have a few published works under your belt--you WILL learn something. Guaranteed. <br />
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I'm going with D.S. and I'm certain I will have a great time (That lady is one crazy chic--super fun).<br />
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Next week, we'll share some of the things we've gleamed from the convention and pass it on to you. <br />
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<b><i>Have you been to a writers convention or workshop? What do you thing? Worth your time or waste of space?</i></b>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-44335613487435294152011-09-12T06:33:00.000-07:002011-09-12T13:52:21.157-07:00Infusing your sentences with sensory part one: Smell<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheiXtyd2dMCyuokJcdnjFYMU_XyiC36iUa6mPXEWMdnSR0OTNQFVee4CgoE6fc4mAd5wVnzr8hL8_3_4Un-HA0NQjDbRLG528SxIt-Mjv_PgQxSgoXjf70uwPjpvYCxmy25yLG1n2Ri1d3/s1600/imagesCAXLKIZ0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" nba="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheiXtyd2dMCyuokJcdnjFYMU_XyiC36iUa6mPXEWMdnSR0OTNQFVee4CgoE6fc4mAd5wVnzr8hL8_3_4Un-HA0NQjDbRLG528SxIt-Mjv_PgQxSgoXjf70uwPjpvYCxmy25yLG1n2Ri1d3/s200/imagesCAXLKIZ0.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Morning all! Rabbit in a Hat Hook'er here.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I've mentioned my weakness for cupcakes before. A weakness enabled by my Master Cupcake Chief sister. She’s got my number and she knows it too! Anything she wants, she gets, so long as there are those paper-wrapped cakelets of evil in her hand.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I'm sure it must have something to do with their innocent, little portion size and that swirl of confectionery yumminess she calls frosting, but my brain has latched onto them. Now I can detect them from a mile away.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But it seems that I've taken my cupcake weakness to a whole new level...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now I'm even wearing them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">On days when the sissy's not baking up a storm, I still get my fix with a soothing Cupcake lotion I found at Walmart. Eat your heart out Bath and Body, cause this stuff is awesome <em>Aaaand</em><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can afford it too!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to hear that food scented products like lotion are contributing to our nation's obesity epidemic. If you're wearing it for eight hours straight, the temptation is constantly under your nose. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our sense of smell is pretty darn powerful, and it shapes the way we experience everything. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Every time we meet someone new, walk into a room, or step outside, our noses are there to investigate. To really pull readers into our writing, the sense of smell is essential. Its a great way to incorporate all the other senses as well.</span><br />
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<ul><li><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If a scent is so strong, it burns your character's eyes and makes them water.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If it makes the character's tummy rumble.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or makes them want to toss their cookies.</span></li>
</ul> You've just Incorporated multiple senses, leading with the sense of smell, and offered your reader something to associate with. Give it a try!</div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-34098104246676517682011-09-08T21:17:00.000-07:002011-09-08T21:17:20.959-07:00Sweet Dreams<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJdHNIOE6WMwng7ur2bpS04jmOZQ2YDTBJQ8OfYOgFty7xEHWfbud4WasYbXg_7fKLVizEUwwseSpr8s9Z9tj6Hc02VRI6yufzoGBhKF7U1_mhR15B9vgY7Id4UzZ3vm8LeJQ7ktidWNWA/s1600/images+%252811%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJdHNIOE6WMwng7ur2bpS04jmOZQ2YDTBJQ8OfYOgFty7xEHWfbud4WasYbXg_7fKLVizEUwwseSpr8s9Z9tj6Hc02VRI6yufzoGBhKF7U1_mhR15B9vgY7Id4UzZ3vm8LeJQ7ktidWNWA/s1600/images+%252811%2529.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A little yawn, a rub of the eyes, and my little one’s ready for bed, despite his best efforts to convince me otherwise. I know for both of us, he needs to climb up to bed and snuggle into his race car sheets and wind down, leaving the troubles and fun of the day behind.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My daughter isn’t as easy as that. She’s nearly four years older and scared of her own shadow. She’s had more bad dreams than anyone I’ve met. We’ve tried Monster Spray, Dreamcatchers, MP3 player, everything and anything to let her mind release whatever torment it holds. It’s exhausting and disheartening to see fear in such impressionable eyes. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Since my daughter was old enough to understand, I’ve told her stories to ease her worries and insert colorful images into her head. I think most of us have grown up with bedtime stories and goodnight kisses, maybe that’s where a writer’s love for words and make-believe comes from. It did for me. I remember hanging on to each and every word, and after my mom turned out the light, I would cinch my eyes and find my way back to whatever adventure she created. There were times when I didn't want to wake up. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My kids are obsessed with cats. So to send them off to dreamland, away from monsters and bad thoughts, I give them Jingle Bells. <span> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Jingle Bells is a curious cat—surprise, surprise—with an affection for my kids and whole lot of trouble. So far Jingle Bells has followed them to school, rode the bus, gone to the crash up derby, and even donned roller skates. He wears a little bell around his neck and as soon as my kids hear his little Jingle they know it's time to have fun. It's not the most creative of stories, in fact, I'm sure it's a walking cliche, but seeing the looks in my children's eyes tells me differently.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Rambling on by the seat of my pants has never been more joyful as it is when story time comes around. I think we are so caught up in editing, writing, critiquing, and blogging we often lose sight of our number one audience. I may never see joy in my reader’s eyes like I do when I’m talking about Jingle Bells. A four or five star review is fantastic, but not the same as seeing my kids </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">ecstatic</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> about a story, we created together. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, stepping away from your w.i.p.s and finished ‘scripts, I want to hear about your bedtime traditions. <b>Do you have a favorite story you read or tell to your kids? Or do you have memories from childhood of someone planting the seeds of adventure with the simple string of words, “once upon a time . . .”? <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-40445278329141692712011-09-07T07:24:00.000-07:002011-09-07T07:25:20.256-07:00Examples of Awesome First Paragraphs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://isbn.abebooks.com/mz/md/79/80/first-paragraphs:-inspired-openings-for-writers-and-readers/md0805025979.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://isbn.abebooks.com/mz/md/79/80/first-paragraphs:-inspired-openings-for-writers-and-readers/md0805025979.jpg" width="145" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal">It’s easy to see when an opening paragraph doesn’t work. We’ve had several examples on our blog of first paragraphs that didn’t quite hit the mark—not that they were bad, just that they could have been better with a little bit of tweaking. (You can see our past posts on Pimping Your Paragraph <a href="http://readyaimhookme.blogspot.com/2011/08/our-first-pimped-paragraph-01-do-you.html">#1</a>, <a href="http://readyaimhookme.blogspot.com/2011/08/pimp-your-paragraph-2.html">#2</a>, and <a href="http://readyaimhookme.blogspot.com/2011/09/pimped-paragraph-3.html">#3</a>). </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But today, I want to talk about GREAT opening paragraphs and what made them stand out. Hopefully by reading a few of these, it will spark your imagination and give you some fresh ideas on reworking your own first paragraph. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The first example is from a novel called “The Girls” by Lori Lansens. Here is the opening paragraph: </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I have never looked into my sister’s eyes. I have never bathed alone. I have never stood in the grass at night and raised my arms to a beguiling moon. I’ve never used an airplane bathroom. Or worn a hat. Or been kissed like that. I’ve never driven a car. Or slept through the night. Never a private talk. Or solo walk. I’ve never climbed a tree. Or faded into a crowd. So many things I’ve never done, but oh, how I’ve been loved. And, if such things were to be, I’d live a thousand lives as me, to be loved so exponentially.</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">When you read this, what does it make you think? Who could this person be—a person who has never worn a hat? Does that little detail even make a difference? Should it? To never bathe alone, how is that even possible? </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Is this paragraph perfect? I don’t know. But it does leave me with a curiosity, and desire to read the next paragraph to find out more about this person. (This just so happens to be a story about conjoined twins, connected at the head).</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Here is another example from “The Lovely Bones” by Alice Seabold:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973. In newspaper photos of missing girls from the seventies, most looked like me: white girls with mousy brown hair. This was before kids of all races and genders started appearing on milk cartons or in the daily mail. It was still back when people believed things like that didn’t happen. </i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Wow. For me, that is a humdinger of an opening paragraph. The character is introduced; the setting and time understood; the problem clearly defined. I’m hooked.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A third example, “Skinny Dip” by Carl Hiaasen:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">At the stroke of eleven on a cool April night, a woman named Joey Perone went overboard from a luxury deck of a cruise liner M.V. Sun Duchess. Plunging toward the dark Atlantic, Joey was too dumbfounded to panic. I married an asshole, she thought, knifing headfirst into the waves. </i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Hello! That is good stuff. Again, is it written perfectly? I don’t know. It’s a bit telling, but it works. BOOM! You’ve got a woman falling overboard, and you know her husband had something to do with it. I read this book quite a while ago, but I found myself reading the first page again, refreshing my memory, and LOVING it! I couldn’t help it. The paragraphs that follow this opening one are fantastic as well. I bit on that hook, and now I must read on. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">My last example is from “The Long Walk: The True Story of a Trek to Freedon” by Slavomir Rawicz:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It was nine o’clock one bleak November day that the key rattled in the heavy lock of my cell in the Lubyanka Prison and the two broad-shouldered guards marched purposefully in. I had been walking slowly round, left hand in the now characteristic prisoner’s attitude of supporting the top of the issue trousers, which Russian ingenuity supplied without buttons or even string on the quite reasonable assumption that a man preoccupied with keeping up his pants would be severely handicapped in attempting to escape. I had stopped pacing at the sound of the door opening and was standing against the far wall as they came in. One stood near the door, the other took two or three strides in. “Come,” he said. “Get moving.”</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Again, the setting is clearly defined. The situation apparent. And when the guards say, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Come. Get moving</i>. I want to know where they’re going. I figure it can’t be good. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As you look over your first paragraph, ask yourself this question: If I read only this tiny little bit, would I want to read on? </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Make sure your first paragraph pulls the reader in. Give them a taste of what they can expect. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If your opening is boring or jumbled, that is what your reader will figure the rest of the book will be—and it just might keep them from reading on. </div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-67874298475767379342011-09-04T23:07:00.000-07:002011-09-05T06:18:24.081-07:00Special Delivery: Giving readers What They Expect<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRl8cgC1g09xiyl8tRa6bBa_9e9aBmin0sg0VLv_XhkauxiBeBNzr3wfY3gfxMvsflzrROKGctGyVpWZxn6Sk6nJmTbBE0XiciXSPD_pEbK3iileFBFZvBBVfqVRc-6qBTWRFjEex2Q4be/s1600/imagesCAKNUN50.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRl8cgC1g09xiyl8tRa6bBa_9e9aBmin0sg0VLv_XhkauxiBeBNzr3wfY3gfxMvsflzrROKGctGyVpWZxn6Sk6nJmTbBE0XiciXSPD_pEbK3iileFBFZvBBVfqVRc-6qBTWRFjEex2Q4be/s1600/imagesCAKNUN50.jpg" xaa="true" /></a></div>Happy morning to you all. Rabbit in a Hat Hooker here. Now that I have snagged your attention with an adorably hypnotic puppy picture, I shall commence.<br />
<br />
So writers, <br />
<br />
You know that long awaited knock on your front door? The one that makes your entire day because your special delivery has finally arrived? It could be all your online Christmas orders, or those shoes you just couldn't find anywhere else, or even the hulking delivery man himself (carrying a box of puppies of course).<br />
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Bottom line, you're totally stoked, because you're about to get what you've been waiting for!<br />
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Cracking open a book isn't much different for our readers. They form certain expectations when choosing what to read, and they look forward to those things. Much like those tender souls who thought this blog was about puppies. Yeah, I know. I've got a little touch of meanie in there for tricking you, but I'm making a point, honest.<br />
<br />
Is your package handled with care?<br />
As authors, we have precious little opportunity to snag a reader's interest for the initial purchase, but the work doesn't end there. Authors must keep delivering what their readers expect or they may suffer rejection. Much like me and my puppy-pimping tactics. I can almost feel the gravitational pull as throngs of readers click away.<br />
<br />
But what about the box it comes in?<br />
You may know by now that authors don't often get to choose their packaging. Book covers are made with great consideration an input, but the art work is often not our own. Our job comes in the writing, and we must set expectations from page one.<br />
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Fair writers, please don't get me wrong. A little surprise every now and then can be a good thing, but let's make "little" the operative word. make sure if your reader ordered a pizza, you deliver a pizza. Not a box of puppies. Or a puppy pizza because that's just gross.<br />
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And don't forget to deliver on time.<br />
If your hook comes too late, or your climax hits too early, your reader may suffer disappointment. Like when those flashy new Christmas toys come without batteries, or your hunky delivery man keeps vying for your brother. Or the box of puppies drank too much water during the trip to your door.Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-65110520276500444782011-09-01T21:17:00.000-07:002011-09-01T21:17:56.721-07:00Guest Blogger: The Stories We TellThanks to my guest blogger, Elisabeth from ECWrites for subbing for me today. She's about to release <i>The Golden Sky</i> in November, which is a heartbreaking and endearingly funny look through the eyes of a young mother as she loses her son to birth defects. I thought she could talk a little bit about why she leans toward nonfiction, specifically Memoir. I've heard it been said that we all have a story in us somewhere, and if you've been to Elisabeth's blog, you'll know she has more than enough stories for all of us. <br />
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~The Skeptical Hook'er<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">For me, writing is like growing up--it's just something you do. I write early, every morning. Whether I'm having a hard time, or a good time, I write no matter what. It isn't about how much other people like my words, or even what they evoke for them. No, writing is about expressing my passion and life. Maybe my loved ones will have those words to remember me by when I'm gone. I sure hope so. But for now, the simple act of writing is enough.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Everyone has a story to tell, something they see distinctly through a special perception. A good writer can take any moment in life, put it on paper and make it something wonderful for the reader. It's not the experience per se, but rather how the experience is conveyed that makes it relevant.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://s27.photobucket.com/albums/c186/Elisabeth83/silly%20blog%20photos/?action=view&current=resume.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c186/Elisabeth83/silly%20blog%20photos/resume.png" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> For example, when detectives investigate a crime scene, every witness will describe things a bit differently. If everyone explains the scenario<i> exactly</i> the same, the authorities will know it's a lie.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Last week I went to a baby shower with a writing friend. We had a great time, but for the most part, it was a normal shower. It became so ordinary, we decided to write about our experiences. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Both of us noticed entirely different things. I couldn't pull my eyes from the woman with the sparkly dress and the powdered nose. She smiled with genuine delight although from the design of her collar, I would have pegged her for a stuffy seamstress. My friend decided to write about the dog, a playful fellow who kept nibbling her feet. Through those two experiences, I found the whole scenario quite exciting amidst the booties, carrots and tea. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> It wasn't the baby shower itself that made our stories so interesting, but rather the little details which told more about how we viewed our own surroundings.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Do you ever write non-fiction? If so, what do your words display about your perception of the world?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> For more information on ECwrites, click here: </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://ecwrites.blogspot.com/p/golden-sky-my-journal-about-zeke_02.html" target="_blank"><img alt="EC Writes" src="http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j167/lilsprouts/Elisa.jpg" /></a></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-3841253628250351182011-09-01T05:25:00.000-07:002011-09-14T05:24:19.619-07:00Pimped Paragraph #3 <span class="apple-style-span"><i>(Your comments are welcomed and highly encouraged. The author of this first paragraph submission is looking for all the constructive criticism they can receive to improve their opening hook. Do you agree with us Hook'ers? Disagree? Were you hooked and would want to read more? Let this author know).</i></span><br />
<br />
ORIGINAL SUBMISSION (Genre: Suspense Fiction): <br />
Sam was feeling exceptionally well. He recalled his lunchtime conversation with his wife, Monica. She’d given him the evening’s schedule; they were celebrating their son Timothy’s birthday. While Sam went over the conversation, he performed the end of the day rituals. He grinned widely, thinking of how detailed his wife’s arranging of the evening would be. The entire evening sounded great. He mulled over how the whole family enjoyed these moments, as a family. Sam removed his work gloves as he made his way back to his truck. The kids would be smiling, hugging and kissing. The girls made such fuss over Tim.<br />
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<br />
Sam <u>was</u> feeling exceptionally well. <span style="background-color: lime;">(Can you show me this instead of telling me this?)</span> He recalled his lunchtime conversation with his wife, Monica. She’d given him the evening’s schedule; they <u>were</u> celebrating their son Timothy’s birthday. While Sam went over the conversation, he performed the end of the day rituals. <span style="color: lime;"><span style="background-color: lime; color: black;">(What are these rituals? What's he doing? Small little details like that would allow the reader to connect with him.)</span> </span>He grinned <span style="background-color: lime;">widely (unnecessary--adverb)</span>, thinking of how detailed his wife’s arranging of the evening <u>would be.</u> <span style="background-color: white;">The entire evening sounded great.</span> <span style="background-color: lime;">(I don't know anything about the party to know if it sounds great or not--give me details. You're just telling me it is great. Show me instead.) </span>He mulled over how the whole family enjoyed these moments, <span style="background-color: lime;"><span style="background-color: white;">as a family.</span> (you said the whole family enjoyed these moments. Adding "as a family" is redundant and unneeded)</span> Sam removed his work gloves as he made his way back to his truck. The kids <u>would be</u> smiling, hugging and kissing. The girls made such fuss over Tim <span style="background-color: lime;">(who's Tim?).</span><br />
<div style="background-color: white;"><br />
</div><span style="background-color: lime;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: lime;">I didn't connect with this character. I don't know much about him or his family to feel invested. I think it has a lot to do with "telling" me what happened and what is going to happen verses "showing me" what is taking place. At this point, without reading the rest of the page, I can almost bet you haven't started the story in the right place. I bet it comes a bit later--your true beginning. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: lime;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: lime;">I would suggest reworking this paragraph, give me details, toss me into the story OR scan your story, look for the spot where the story really picks up. I think you're trying to add a bunch of characters too quickly, but it would be better to introduce them as the story unfolds, as your character talks to them and relates to them. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: lime;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: lime;">Hope this feedback helped. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: lime;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: lime;">~Angela Scott The Reluctant Hook'er</span></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">***</div>Sam was feeling exceptionally well. He recalled his lunchtime conversation with his wife, Monica. She’d given him the evening’s schedule; they were celebrating their son Timothy’s birthday. While Sam went over the conversation, he performed the end of the day rituals. He grinned widely, thinking of how detailed his wife’s arranging of the evening would be. The entire evening sounded great. He mulled over how the whole family enjoyed these moments, as a family. Sam removed his work gloves as he made his way back to his truck. The kids would be smiling, hugging and kissing. The girls made such fuss over Tim. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">(This graph is all telling, which makes me feel distanced from this character. Show me a skip in his step or something that he was feeling well. I don't think you're starting in the right place. Start with action, maybe the party? There was nothing about this graph that would propel me to read forward, that doesn't mean the rest of your story isn't great, but you want to hook us right away and keep us there through the end. Keep working on it. Best of luck) </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">The Skeptical Hook'er. </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">***</div><span style="color: magenta;">Kacey Mark: Coming to you live in technicolor pink! </span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta;">It burns! It burns!</span><br />
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Sam was feeling exceptionally well. <span style="color: magenta;"><Uh-oh. There's that "was" word. it tends to distance your reader. Lemme in there, Author. I want to plunge right into what's going on inside his head. I like his name, maybe I'll like him too but I haven't been given the chance yet.></span> He recalled <span style="color: magenta;"><So he's a thinker. That's good. But if we are in his Point of view (POV), and we want to be, we don't really need this. try to rephrase the sentence without it.></span> his lunchtime conversation with his wife, Monica<span style="color: magenta;">.<Okay, another great character name but no glimpse of who she is besides the wifey. Which means that Sam is not the muscle-bound bachelor I thought he was. Well... I guess there's still hope for the muscles though. :-)></span> She’d given him the evening’s schedule; they were celebrating their son Timothy’s birthday. While Sam went over the conversation, he performed the end of the day rituals<span style="color: magenta;">.<And what might those be? chopping down trees and throwing them over his shoulder with inhuman, muscle-bound strength? Or grooming Guinea pigs at the local Pet Smart? I think you know which one I'm rooting for.></span> He grinned widely <span style="color: magenta;"><Ack! an "LY" word. it points at the possibility of telling (not showing) and the need for a stronger verb>,</span> thinking of how detailed his wife’s arranging of the evening would be. The entire evening sounded great<span style="color: magenta;">.<Ugh... *folds arms* Well I want to hear the details then. I'm not doing to deny my deep-rooted urge to meddle in other people's details. Isn't that what reading a good book is all about anyway?></span> He mulled over <span style="color: magenta;"><There he is thinking again. *Pouts* I'm starting to get a not-so-Sam-The-Lumbar-jack vibe. Maybe he's more of a scholar?></span>how the whole family enjoyed these moments, as a family. Sam removed his work gloves <span style="color: magenta;"><Oh! Gloves mean hard work right? Maybe I shouldn't revoke his stud card just yet></span>as he made his way back to his truck<span style="color: magenta;">.<Truck! Score! I knew he was a real guy in there somewhere! Hormones rejoice! (until Monica shows up that is)></span> The kids would be smiling, hugging and kissing. The girls made such fuss over Tim.<br />
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<span style="color: magenta;">I'm sorry to make a mess of your first paragraph by hosing it down with girly-hormone pink, but I just couldn't help myself. There seems to be too much distance between your character and your readers. A distance that can do one of two things given the reader's personality: </span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta;">One, let them run wild with their imagination until you finally reign them in with the possible threat of disappointment, </span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta;">Or two, bore them because they just can't get into your characters. </span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta;">Set up your characters at the very beginning with a clear image and get deep into their POV before the reader forms the wrong impression. </span>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-81286419099227357122011-08-31T05:48:00.000-07:002011-08-31T05:48:30.138-07:00Have you edited the fat rolls and freckled bums out of your manuscript?<div class="MsoNormal">My Editing Song: “Editing sucks. It really, really sucks. I hate it. It blows. Did I already say it sucks? I did. But let me say it again. Editing sucks. It suuuuuccccckkkksss!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">*And now I bend at the waist and take a bow*</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Editing is not fun. Not by a long shot. I’d much rather write—so freeing, so creative. I LOVE the creative process of writing. I love it when my characters come alive on the paper and they feel like real people, people I care a whole lot about and don’t want to kill off no matter how much it is necessary to the story. When I’m writing, and my fingers are flying over the key board, I feel so ALIVE! Such joy. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/xos2MnVxe-c?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal">Editing, on the other hand, is the equivalent to having my knuckles smacked with yard stick while my eyes are being jabbed with the pokey end of a wiener dog. (Just so you know, I posted this sentence on twitter with a fill in the blank. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Sharp end of a . . .</b> And I got responses like bowling ball, spork, dry spaghetti, Cinderella Pen, waffle, pencil. But the best one by far was wiener dog. I chose that one as the winner). </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://howstuffworks.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/blog-dachshund1.jpg?w=400" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://howstuffworks.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/blog-dachshund1.jpg?w=400" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">But we HAVE to do it. Just like paying taxes and dying. We don’t have a choice. Okay, technically, we don’t have to pay taxes, but jail doesn’t seem fun at all. AND technically, we don’t have to edit. We can leave it as is, but BOY you’ll look like an idiot if you choose not to. That doesn’t seem fun at all either—it's just like standing naked in front of the whole world while they mock your fat rolls and freckled bum (that’s what the over use of the words “just”, “was”, “as well”, passive voice, and adverbs are—fat rolls and freckled bums. Yuck. Edit those out of there). </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Death you can’t get around. You will die. Sorry. Death is a stickler that way—stupid death. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Soooooo . . . Can anyone guess what I’ve been up to for the past 72+ hours? Yeah, that’s right. Editing away the fat rolls and freckled bums from my zombie western romance. You heard me. <a href="http://www.whimsywritingandreading.weebly.com/">Zombie. Western. Romance.</a> Yep. That’s what I’ve been doing since last Saturday. Non-stop.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Editing blows. I mean, I get it. I understand its purpose and the necessity of doing it—I want my stuff to be top notch. But it’s no fun. No fun at all. That doesn’t mean I’ve got to like it, right? I’m allowed to hate the process. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’ve been going back through my manuscript, fixing goofball mistakes, and editing the suggestions given to me by my amazing critique partners and I wonder, “Why couldn’t I have just written it right the first time? What is wrong with me? Ugh! I’m stupid. I'm the worst writer ever!” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And then I remember Hemingway said: The first draft of anything is [crap]. And just so you know, the second version isn't usually much better. The third is on it's way, but usually by the sixth or seventh revision, you've at least been handed a towel to cover your fat rolls and freckled bum. You feel pretty good about yourself and you even feel like waving at the crowd.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I'm not quite there yet. Couple more revisions to go before I feel like waving. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal">I know I shouldn’t to use the word “just” over and over and over again, and yet, there it is . . . all 257 of them. What the heck? And let’s not forget the wonderful word “looked.” My characters look at things ALL the time—he looked at her, she looked at him, they looked at each other. *palm smack to the forehead*</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">All I can say is this, despite the fact I hate the editing process, I would NEVER, EVER, EVER, NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS, publish something I hadn’t edited the heck out of. Ever. It’s a necessary evil. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I still hate it though. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><i>How about you? Do like your knuckles smacked with a ruler while your eyes are being jabbed with the pokey end of a wiener dog?</i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">~The Reluctant Hook'er (Angela Scott) </span></i></b></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-69886201514904607372011-08-29T07:48:00.000-07:002011-08-29T10:44:28.281-07:00How Does a Muse Hire a Babysitter?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH1xI_J8pXhrg1x3Hv7dRBRkiRCslxo_1fLaJUwa2nvvVNoea6l7dzaj3CT0Vn0QKOPvHeJiAVkFkh0zCiOEhh1ftBZrnPS6qp4iEPZOiFudeyYePvioaEO0LwEjc-TYs_ZHICJDluJ7iA/s1600/ahfm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="105" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH1xI_J8pXhrg1x3Hv7dRBRkiRCslxo_1fLaJUwa2nvvVNoea6l7dzaj3CT0Vn0QKOPvHeJiAVkFkh0zCiOEhh1ftBZrnPS6qp4iEPZOiFudeyYePvioaEO0LwEjc-TYs_ZHICJDluJ7iA/s200/ahfm.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You may have already heard the concept of filling out a character interview to bring out the depth and motivation of your character. Those nifty little questionnairs can really help bring an otherwise flat character into three dimensional, jump off the page form. It's amazing what you can find out when you simply ask them. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As a fun twist I decided to invite my good friend Tobin to the Hook Me blog today.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Tobin: Easy sister, We're not that good of friends... And did you seriously just use the word "nifty"? </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">How old are you again?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kacey: Don't mind him. He's still pissed because of his little flesh wound at the end of book one.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Tobin: Flesh wound? You call this a flesh wound?! Come over here and I'll show you a flesh wound. I'll make us a matching pair. How does that sound, <em>FRIEND</em>?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kacey: Tobin, focus please.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I was about to say, our little Muse friend here seems to think he's got a pretty good handle on people.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Who can blame him really, with his ability to see into the human soul with deadly accuracy. But now that he's</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> laid up in bed with nothing to do, his hired help is getting on his nerves.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tobin's decided to fire his staff and hire himself--and this is the part that baffles me-- a babysitter.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Tobin: What's so baffling? I'm hiring a babe that will sit anywhere I ask her to. Mostly on my lap.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kacey: I think you're a little confused at the job description, but we're getting off the subject. Tobin here managed to swipe--</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Tobin: Borrow</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kacey: Oh-kay <em>borrow</em> his brother's employment requirements for when he hired his nanny and now Tobin's making a few adjustments.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So lets get into this Muse’s head. Lets find out how a muse shops for his own babysitter. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Tobin: All right, but I'm letting you know right now, this is going to cost you...</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Question number one: No one is above my influence. When I say jump, you...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kacey: Ask how high?</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Tobin: No. Not even close. Don't talk, just jump. Muses are all about visual stimulation, not chatter. And did I mention push-up bras are a dress code requirement?</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">You're fired by the way.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Next question: Women fall at my feet on a regular basis. How do you avoid violating our business relationship.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kacey: I--</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Tobin: Upupup! You see that right there? See how you're opening your mouth?</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Fired! </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Again. No yapping. just doing. It's perfectly natural to fall at my feet, on your back, or in any other compromising position. I'm hiring you to sit on my lap, woman. It would take an awful lot to violate a business relationship like that. Something like, oh, I don't know, a FLESH WOUND!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kacey: You're just not going to let that go, are you?</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tobin: Shut up.</span></span><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Next question: I feed on the human soul. I'm </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">always hungry for my next meal. How do you keep me nourished?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kacey: *shakes her head*</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tobin: Oh?... what is this? Look at this, ladies and gentleman she is learning.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The author can be taught. Just look at those pursed lips. Lovin the pout Kacey, really. You're almost back into my good graces. Just do me one more favor...</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kacey: What kind of favor?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">Tobin: Jump up and down.</span></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-32224226542883464242011-08-26T06:16:00.000-07:002011-08-26T06:16:10.896-07:00The Reluctant Mom Meets The Pretzel Pixie: RedouxI was attacked yesterday at work. This beastly thing held a knife to my head and wouldn't retreat. Unfortunately for the rest of my story, it was just a migraine, but that sucker had me down and not blogging. So, here's an old blog post from my blog <a href="http://dstracywrites.blogspot.com/">My Life In Writing</a>. The winner of my last weeks "Pimp Your Blog" is the crazy girl at <a href="http://ecwrites.blogspot.com/">ecwrites.blogspot.com</a>. She writes funny, endearing stories about her life as a mom, writer, and all the other amazing things she does. Check her out!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYAJCxxlmMOr6F2LSYJCf4e9TrsOHY2wO5piHEC_giOL2brWO3LK9DHXKs7sZ8sqVa7f0wR7axd_56JL4yOlc6N477uXs9lzdB3Pkkf04lt-tQk8oruxjs226QH29JtTeWmOHFC_GGY9gj/s1600/right+preztel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYAJCxxlmMOr6F2LSYJCf4e9TrsOHY2wO5piHEC_giOL2brWO3LK9DHXKs7sZ8sqVa7f0wR7axd_56JL4yOlc6N477uXs9lzdB3Pkkf04lt-tQk8oruxjs226QH29JtTeWmOHFC_GGY9gj/s320/right+preztel.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I moved away from my birthplace about eleven years ago, which was quite an accomplishment for this mama's girl. My husband had an opportunity he didn't want to pass on, so I put on my big girl hat and we moved to another state. I didn't jump back into my career, instead we decided to start a family. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I love being able to stay at home and take care of my kids, but it isn’t easy. We didn’t move here with readymade friends, so my new social life consisted of a few neighbors and my little ones. Until an ordinary shopping trip to Sam’s Club changed everything.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">After buying an ultra-grande box of diapers and wipes, my two children and I waited in line for a pretzel. In case you haven’t tried a Sam’s Club pretzel, I highly recommend it. My stomach dips and rumbles with anticipation as I stroll through the warehouse aisles, waiting for the buttery, salty yumminess to slip down my throat. The line was long, but I wanted my pretzel. I wasn't going to leave without one. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">A woman behind me complimented my daughter's irresistible cuteness. I smiled, but didn’t encourage chitchat. You really have to be careful who you meet nowadays and even though she looked like a pixie, I knew not to trust her. Pixies can be dangerous, right? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The line soon came to an abrupt halt when the trainee had some sort of Code Blue. The pixie lady took the opportunity and chattered away and cooed at my baby boy.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“He’s darling,” she said. Her smile looked genuine enough—a bit too eager for my liking. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Thanks.” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Yeah, I know I don’t sound so friendly, maybe even a tad cold, but that pixie had a good complexion. A complexion so perfect I just knew she had to be an Avon lady or even one of those pink Cadillac driving Mary Kay salesperson of the year. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">As I used my Jedi mind tricks on the cashier to hurry along with the orders ahead of me, my daughter started playing with her two little girls, bouncing around and giggling. Thankfully, the line started moving and I got my buttery, salty pretzel and bucket of diet coke. I smiled and said goodbye to the pixie and wandered through the crowd to find a table.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Somewhere along the way, my daughter had other plans. She turned around and returned to the pixie lady and asked them to join us. Horror filled my face, not only did my little girl run from my side, but she was bringing the pixie cosmetics pusher over to me. I vowed that she’d be grounded until she was five if I ended up with a jar of must-have wrinkle cream. The woman’s smile grew as she and her little girls strolled over to the table.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Your daughter is so sweet, she asked us to join you. Would that be all right?” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I smiled and shrugged, probably mumbled for her to sit down. I let her do most of the talking. She told me how hard it was making friends in a new city. She apparently just moved from California. We live in a predominately LDS (Mormon) community and meeting people can be hard if you aren’t of the same faith—or at least, it feels that way. I related to her problem because I was baptized LDS, but don’t go to church. And although I have two busy kids and hardworking husband, I really didn’t have much of a social life. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">So maybe the Pixie wasn’t as crazy as I thought she was. The pixie just wanted a friend. But why in the world would she choose me. I’m the opposite of pixie. I have a hard time keeping my opinions to myself, I don’t talk to strangers in the Sam’s Club line, and I don’t trust easily. This girl looked like she breathed in Disneyland fairy tales. What would we have in common besides our kids?<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The Pixie asked for my number and I gave her mine, but vowed to file it away and never use it. A month later, the Pixie called and nearly five years after that, I’m happy to say she is one of my dearest friends. She is like a kindred spirit to me—a person I was destined to meet. I strongly believe there was a force greater than the pangs of longing for that pretzel when I met my pixie friend. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We are vastly different in so many ways, except for the ones that count. I look forward to our “<i>Good Moorling</i>” conversations and know that no matter what we’ll always be friends. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Sometimes in life, stepping out of your comfort zone is the thing that saves you. A person can tread water for only so long before he has to swim. Take chances in life and in your writing. I heard a saying once to write what you know. But to me, that’s like waiting in line for a pretzel and ignoring possibilities of something better—something lasting. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b><span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Do you experiment with your writing? Step out of your comfort zone? Or have you ever had a situation happen that lead you on a journey you never imagined? </span></b></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-77519122258746809212011-08-25T05:00:00.000-07:002011-08-25T05:00:15.232-07:00Pimp Your Paragraph #2<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i>(Your comments are welcomed and highly encouraged. The author of this first paragraph submission is looking for all the constructive criticism they can receive to improve their opening hook. Do you agree with us Hook'ers? Or were you hooked and would want to read more? Let this author know).</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Wrath</span></i></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">, he asked of me. Waste your immortal voice singing of the destruction wrought by pitiless Achilles that cost Greek and Trojan lives alike. Glorify with a golden lyre fleet-footed Achilles whose insatiable blood-lust left mountains of corpses in his wake. Inspire bards in the years to come with praise for he who made a thousand widows mourn... Achilles’ wrath, he asked of me. Not piety nor wisdom should I honor. No, my father asked for wrath: celebrate the murderous rage of he that was doomed to die at the Skaian gate."</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">***<br />
</span></span></span></span></span></span></div></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Wrath</span></i></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">, he asked of me. Waste your immortal voice singing of the destruction wrought by pitiless Achilles that cost Greek and Trojan lives alike. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Glorify with a golden lyre fleet-footed Achilles whose insatiable blood-lust left mountains of corpses in his wake. Inspire bards in the years to come with praise for he who made a thousand widows mourn<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: orange;">...(reconsider ellipses)</span> Achilles’ wrath, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: yellow;">he asked of me(huh? repeater).</span> Not piety nor wisdom should I honor. No, my father asked for wrath: celebrate the murderous rage of he that was doomed to die at the Skaian gate." </span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">hmmm, I'm not sure how to comment on this. I had to read it a few times and still don't get it. I'm confused. Can you break it up with action or something? I have no context of what's going on or who's speaking. I'm sure I'll get that in the next graph but . . . ? </span></span><br />
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<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">~The Skeptical Hook'er</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">***<br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Just bare with me here whist I take you on a tour through my dizzying intellect as I read this...</span></i></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Wrath</span></i></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">, he asked of me. <span style="color: magenta;"><Okay so we're talking to Wrath, right? okay. We're hitting the ground running. I like that></span>Waste your immortal voice singing of the destruction wrought by pitiless Achilles that cost Greek and Trojan lives alike. <span style="color: magenta;"><Holy cow, long cumbersome sentence. It sounds more poetical than anything. Which could be a good thing if it's pulling us into the culture of Ancient Greece, but otherwise... For now let's go with the Grecian theory></span>Glorify with a golden lyre fleet-footed Achilles <span style="color: magenta;"><Okay so we've got a new character in the mix. Great. I love a party, but why did we invite him if he's just going to stand around the punch bowl all night? Why is he here?></span>whose insatiable blood-lust left mountains of corpses in his wake. Inspire bards in the years to come with praise for he who made a thousand widows mourn... Achilles’ wrath, <span style="color: magenta;"><Okay now you've officially lost me. Are we talking about Achilles? Or Wrath, Or Achilles' wrath? Now its like I'm stuck in a dark coat closet and I can't tell who's who or what's what.... and I'm missing the party></span>he asked of me. Not piety nor wisdom should I honor. No, my father<span style="color: magenta;"><Oh crap! Party's over. Now dad's home! How did he get here so fast? And why is he here?></span> asked for wrath: celebrate the murderous rage of he that was doomed to die at the Skaian gate."</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial;">I hope that you will take my comments as nothing more than good natured. I don't mean any harm and I'm not really trying to mock your work. I'm trying to make the point here that we have no clear vision of time, place, character or setting. It could be in ancient Greece, or at a USU Toga party for all I know. Monologues are fine, but this one comes off difficult to understand and the story is still in the dark as far as I'm concerned.</span><br />
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial;">~Rabbit in a Hat Hooker</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">***<br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Wrath</span></i></span><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">, he asked of me. Waste your immortal voice singing of the destruction wrought by pitiless Achilles that cost Greek and Trojan lives alike. Glorify with a golden lyre fleet-footed Achilles whose insatiable blood-lust left mountains of corpses in his wake. Inspire bards in the years to come with praise for he who made a thousand widows mourn... Achilles’ wrath, he asked of me. Not piety nor wisdom should I honor. No, my father asked for wrath: celebrate the murderous rage of he that was doomed to die at the Skaian gate."</span></span><br />
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<div style="color: purple;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Okie, Dokie. Something is going on here. Something is being said, I get that by the use of quotation marks at the beginning and at the end of this passage. Quotation marks tend to indicate that--my deductive skills did help me figure that out. </span></span></div><div style="color: purple;"><br />
</div><div style="color: purple;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Is this a a voodoo type curse to bring about the immortal destruction of Greece? A prayer? A student reading out of text book? I don't know. I give up. I'm trying to understand what is taking place here and I ain't got a clue. </span></span></div><div style="color: purple;"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></span></div><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: purple;">I almost get the feeling that someone is reading this, quoting this. If so, we need something to indicate that. Starting off your novel in the manner, without the use of, "he said, while reading from his Greek Theology book" or "he said, speaking to the heavens" leaves me very, very confused. I'm with The Rabbit in the Hat Hook'er on this one, I need a scene or a sense of time and place, something, <i>anything</i> to clarify this for me. This paragraph is cumbersome and really, tells me nothing. Perhaps the second paragraph would help or even the first chapter would better help me understand this passage, but since this is about the first paragraph only, I really haven't a clue what this story is about or where the author is planning to take me. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: purple;"></span></span></span><br />
<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="color: purple;">~The Reluctant Hook'er </span></span></span><br />
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</span></span></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-59806163656795097032011-08-24T07:03:00.000-07:002011-08-24T07:03:19.819-07:00A Bit of Writing Advice (VIDEOS)<div style="text-align: center;">(It is allergy season and I've been hit pretty hard--watery itchy eyes, the sniffles, and lack of desire to stay conscious. Allergies have wiped me out. So today, instead of writing an allergy medicated induced post, I'm going to toss out some of my favorite writing advice videos for you to enjoy. Enjoy the videos while I search out another box of tissues). </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/fOSR9JcRHTk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Right now, this is where I am at in my writing--frustrated. I have a heck of a time writing endings that are coherent and leave my readers feeling joy and completion. I've been editing my last twenty pages of my WIP for the past four or five months (what a dork, right?) but I know once I nail the ending, make it perfect, I, as a writer, will be all the better for it. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/hqp7A0B7abc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Stephen King's book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Writing-10th-Anniversary-Memoir-Craft/dp/1439156816/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1314194234&sr=8-1">On Writing</a> is one of my favorite books on the writing craft. If you've not had a chance to read it, I highly suggest you do. He is forthright and honest. He tells you like it is. Also, there is a section in the book about his life, how he became a writer, the process, and how he was almost killed by a drunk driver--Stephen King, by all rights, shouldn't have lived through that accident. It's a fantastic book.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/c9fc-crEFDw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">This video cracks me up! Awesome. A bit of fun for you. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Have a great day, everyone. Write. Write. Write. </div><div style="text-align: center;">And then when you're done with that, go write some more. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I know you want to. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-4317894939803762212011-08-22T06:41:00.000-07:002011-08-22T06:41:59.154-07:00Fond Memories of Summer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirnpXMRm9PnOOfZv3j_jjfSi2p52Lqmk1D4NgGIk6YbsGs4Ay7R6wMndOsnkb6wx31BHv_ZrK9rF6_CR3RmP5UW1-TJfE6VK2k5DslWZo9I6_SDOvybLjM8Og5IxtB-TbFxuqdJdz7cCnD/s1600/kick-the-can.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="159" qaa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirnpXMRm9PnOOfZv3j_jjfSi2p52Lqmk1D4NgGIk6YbsGs4Ay7R6wMndOsnkb6wx31BHv_ZrK9rF6_CR3RmP5UW1-TJfE6VK2k5DslWZo9I6_SDOvybLjM8Og5IxtB-TbFxuqdJdz7cCnD/s200/kick-the-can.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Good morning to you all, <br />
Rabbit in a Hat Hooker here. <br />
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Remember those countless hours--and for me countless sumburns, spent in the neighborhood of your youth? Remember Tag? Kick the can? Hide and go seek?<br />
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I think my parents must have lost track of me about the day after school let out and didn't find me again until days like today. *Sigh* <br />
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For many of you, today marks the first day of school for your children. A day filled with anxiety, excitement, and maybe even a small tinge of grief for those long summers meeting a bitter, bitter end... Kinda tastes like chalk dust.<br />
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The kids of today rarely spend as much time outside as we did, but I can gurantee it builds more memories than what level they got to on their X Box game. And the best part is, it's free. No cords, no power bill, no expensive gaming system. You get the idea. I'm preaching to the choir here, I can almost hear the collectibe Amens.<br />
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My children and I celebrated our last day of summer running through the sprinklers and playing in the pool. If I had suggested going inside for some quality TV time, I'm pretty sure they would have tied me up with their jump rope and left me to sponge up sprinkler water.<br />
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As readers and writers alike, we all have this in common. Given the choice we'd rather go out and experience than sit back and obsorb. I encourage you to keep this in mind in your writing.<br />
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But how do we keep people turning pages if they'd rather be out there experiencing it?<br />
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By locking on to those common memories even until the snow starts flying. Embrace it in your writing so readers can dust of those fond memories and enjoy them.<br />
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Your characters don't always need to go through a monolighic and heart wrenching event in order for your reader to connect. It can be found in the small things too. Like scene and setting, common references, and your character's culture.Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-13274033016580481272011-08-18T21:25:00.001-07:002011-08-18T21:39:08.971-07:00Skeptical Hook'er's Corner: Pimp Your Blog #1<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh26OcdSPolOggg9gtxjWKPNN2wTGSFIzw8WHzYk1Dpj-GC_-fs-Qsw35LUGQnexodwYdf1Zg9ygxRns-Ho4OuG3PKt-23-y-EJfVXn4LWndyPFiEQqSCX_FUS1BzJOxfjTgYDgjWg8VBRy/s1600/images+%252810%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh26OcdSPolOggg9gtxjWKPNN2wTGSFIzw8WHzYk1Dpj-GC_-fs-Qsw35LUGQnexodwYdf1Zg9ygxRns-Ho4OuG3PKt-23-y-EJfVXn4LWndyPFiEQqSCX_FUS1BzJOxfjTgYDgjWg8VBRy/s320/images+%252810%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If you haven’t already guessed it, the three Hook’ers of Ready, Aim, Hook Me want to support writers. We spend hours and <i>hours</i> reading submissions with nothing in it for ourselves except to promote our fellow writer. It's a Karma thing. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sure, we don’t make it easy. Our rules are strict: you may be great, but we have to be hooked start to finish. The reason for all of this is to get self-published (most of who submits) novels into the hands of the reading public—they are out there, somewhere. We want good books, written by amazing authors to see their way out of the drawer or closet. Did I say good? I meant great, which isn't easy. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It isn't easy for us either. There are days when we are ready to call ’er good because this blog cuts into most of our own writing time. I haven’t written anything but blog posts for over a month. And yet, we still don’t have a "Two out of three Hook’ers love my book" review. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Are we too picky? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Maybe. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, while we are still plowing through submissions, we still want to show whatever followers we have left (I know rejections are hard) that we are in your corner. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">To be successful takes a bit o’ skill, a pinch of luck, a shake or two of patience, and a whole lotta persistence. But minging along with all that is networking. You want to sell your books somewhere, right? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For the first ten people who craft a sentence with one of the words listed below, I want to follow your blog. Not only do I want to follow your blog. I want you to Pimp your blog to all of us. Tell us what your blog has to offer the followers at Ready, Aim, Hook Me. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I will read your creative sentences, visit all ten blogs, and follow, given that you are one of our followers—reciprocation. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">AND, whoever wins me over in both sentence and blog appeal will land in our blog roll. It may not seem like much but one of our followers may just want to buy your book one day. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Remember the rules: Sentence, pimp your blog, follow us, I will follow you=best of show lands in the blog roll. <i>(I may pick more than one)<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I will do this again, so if you don’t make it this week, try again. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b>Ready, set . . . hook me!</b> (yes, I used an exclamation point and I liked it)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Bromidic</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dactylion<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Farctate<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Interfenestration<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lethologica<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Qualtagh<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Agelast<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Gongoozler<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Wanweird<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thelemic<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><br />
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">(Bear with me, this will have a point. I promise. Oh, and something wacky happened with my numbering below in the conversion process. Sorry about that).</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i> </i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.outblush.com/get/women/images/2007/02/safety-girl-emergency-kit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.outblush.com/get/women/images/2007/02/safety-girl-emergency-kit.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Years ago, I decided that each of my family members needed a 72 hour emergency kit. You know, in case of an emergency. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I would make sure each kit contained enough water, food, clothing, and basic survival essentials to live on in case of earthquake, hurricane, tornado, <a href="http://whimsywritingandreading.weebly.com/got-zombies.html">zombie apocalypse</a>. What a good mom I was. I tossed in granola bars, pop tarts, bottled water, toothbrushes, toilet paper, hard candy, etc . . .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Bring on the emergency. We were ready.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> </div><div class="MsoNormal">(Just kidding. Don’t bring on an emergency. I like things non-emergency like. I really, really do). </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Well, guess what. No emergency. Year after year passed in peace and harmony, and the kits were stowed safely under my bed. Eventually, with time, I forgot about them. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Here’s the thing about 72 hour kits—they need to be updated on a yearly basis. Yep. YEARLY basis. Not decade. Remember that, in case you decide to make 72 hour kits for your family members, which you should by the way. It’s a good thing . . . as long as you continually update them.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Had an emergency actually occurred, and we had to rely on those kits for survival, we would have died within hours. No joke. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Every bit of food packed in those kits was WELL beyond its expiration date. The bottled water looked nasty, and the clothing I packed (I laugh when I look at them) no longer applied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance, my eight –year-old-daughter would have had to wear diapers, plastic pull ups, and a size 12 month romper. My teenage son and his ten-year-old brother didn’t fare much better (Bob the Builder Underwear for each of them and footie-pjs). </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal">But the worst of all . . . I would have had to wear “mom jeans.” Yep, the pants with the stretchy waist band (they were my after pregnancy pants). I shudder at the injustice I would have had to endure for my lack of preparedness. I would’ve looked hideous. Because even in an emergency, you still want to look cool. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.onsugar.com/files/2010/05/18/5/192/1922283/4477ce4805caebbd_mom-jeans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="http://media.onsugar.com/files/2010/05/18/5/192/1922283/4477ce4805caebbd_mom-jeans.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">My point is this: sometimes we need to make sure we are up to date on current writing trends and tips. We need to continually be updating our writing skills so we know what is industry standard and what just makes us look like amateurs and fools. There is an abundance of information available to us as writers and we need to take advantage of it. There is no reason that we shouldn’t—unless you THINK you know it all. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You would hate to be standing there, holding your manuscript, wearing “mom jeans” and looking rather dumb now, would you? </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">A A couple of things to remember (things I’ve seen in our few months of critiquing):<span><span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>1) <span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> <span style="font-size: small;">1) Do not </span></span></span></span></span>underline anything in your manuscript. Some of you have been told that you underline words or phrases that you want to emphasis. This is no longer true. You use italics for emphasis. </div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> 2) The only time you use single quotation marks is if you are quoting something inside a set of double quotations. Otherwise, always use double quotation marks. </div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>3)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>3)You only need one space after a period. Not two. </div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>4)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>4) Periods and commas always go inside quotation marks. </div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>5)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>5) No funky fonts. Stick to Times New Roman. There are a couple of others that are acceptable, but Times New Roman is the standard font.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No curly Q’s. </div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>6)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>6) It’s best to use contractions in your dialogue. Most people don’t talk like this, “I can not believe he did not see the cow in the middle of the road? He should have swerved.” </div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>7)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>7) Know the industry standard for word length in your genre. If you self-publish, I guess it doesn’t matter if you have a 250,000 sci-fi novel. Traditional publishers, on the other hand, will pass it by. Especially if you are a new author. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anything less than 50K is considered a novella and not<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>novel. </div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>8)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> <span style="font-size: small;"> 8) </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;">Do </span>not use more than one exclamation point to indicate your characters excitement. None of this--!!!!! Or this--!?! .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, use exclamation points sparingly. </div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>9)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>9) Do not use more than one modifier. I mean, it’s great to know that your hero has super, cute, brown, wavy, shiny hair. There is no need. Just pick one. Otherwise, your reader will forget what it was you were trying to modify. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Keep yourself updated. Read the books that are out there. Subscribe to writing magazines. Keep reading our blog<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(ahh, I had to put that in there). </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Don’t have a decade old 72 hour kit as your writing arsenal. Make your kit fresh and current—useable. You will be so much better, so much wiser, so much more in tune to today’s writing standards if you do. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>What other outdated rules have you seen people continue to use? What do you do to keep yourself current in an ever changing world of writing? Your tips and comments would be appreciated. </b></div>Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.com9