tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.comments2019-11-20T03:56:01.845-08:00Ready, Aim, Hook MeReady, Aim, Hook Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.comBlogger292125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-40488441660458248182011-10-16T20:36:51.893-07:002011-10-16T20:36:51.893-07:00I LOVE this. It truly is a wonderful thing when o...I LOVE this. It truly is a wonderful thing when others can help build each other up and help along the way :)Crazy Life of a Writing Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16064939499412649850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-27982133648585768752011-10-08T08:47:57.354-07:002011-10-08T08:47:57.354-07:00Marc, you are right as far as can't all be 100...Marc, you are right as far as can't all be 100%. Telling is a way to further the story, but creating the experience has a lot to do with showing. I think you get caught up in the "don't do..." and you think we mean NEVER do something. It is simply a reminder to write smart, write detailed, and don't take away the experience from the reader. That's all. If you need to tell sometimes, then do it. In your example above with the ring. That was not telling. That was entirely showing. That's what I mean. Thanks for commenting. And yes, Meg the sentences were all telling. Great job. Anytime someone tells you how they are feeling, be wary. Unless of course it is followed or supported by action like in Marc's example which SHOWS the opposite. Elisabeth, good luck on your blog hop!! If anyone hasn't signed up they should.Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-23813589203535103672011-10-08T07:37:07.381-07:002011-10-08T07:37:07.381-07:00You have some great points here.
I LOVE romances...You have some great points here. <br />I LOVE romances. I need to watch that movie again. :)Crazy Life of a Writing Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16064939499412649850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-81636941138503915052011-10-07T17:59:01.519-07:002011-10-07T17:59:01.519-07:00Not sure if this is a trick, but I think all those...Not sure if this is a trick, but I think all those sentences are telling.Megnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-54652483763149493832011-10-07T07:03:51.893-07:002011-10-07T07:03:51.893-07:00While I do respect the showing vs. telling argumen...While I do respect the showing vs. telling argument, one fatal flaw exists:<br /><br />Just because a character tells a reader something, doesn't make it true.<br /><br />Characters most often lie to themselves, just like people in real life do. In fact, reading a story written in first person where characters SOMETIMES lie to themselves? Perfect! Who's being honest with themselves, who's in denial, who stands by their actions, who sticks by what they believe, who chooses to stay in a bad situation and why, these can all be taken advantage of by doing a minute amount of telling to the reader, that can't be displayed by just showing.<br /><br />As a writer, I ALWAYS want to write characters that lie to readers. Whether they're stand-up, honest individuals, or sociopathic liars, I want my writing to lie to readers and make them think a story is going a certain way when in fact, much more is buried deep beneath.<br /><br />Even if I give the reader the answer in some veiled message, I still want depth. As long as there's depth, in my opinion, telling can be okay sometimes.<br /><br />In fact, I love it when people tell me HALF a story. It drives me to keep working to find out the other half. And in life, whenever a person tells you a story, there's always someone else's version to counteract it. If literally everything is shown about characters, yes, it can be powerful and fun to analyze. But how do you show a character that's lying to themselves without some cliche moment or forced scene where readers get "the real truth?"<br /><br />For example:<br />"I don't love him anymore!"<br />"Then why are you still wearing his ring?"<br /><br />Great, this was just shown, but so what? First off, how many people are detectives to notice that? Second, what about the people out there who don't love that person anymore AND don't wear that ring anymore? Sure, they can act out and be fidgety, but some people are ridiculously good at hiding their feelings. We have to wait till the end of the story to find out they were lying to themselves? Where's the tension in that? Moments like that are so overdone, showing that scene simply for the sake of showing is just as bad as a writer who tells every step of the story without an ounce of action.<br /><br />Too much telling, too much showing, to me, it's all the same. A good writer needs to find the right balance.<br /><br />You show a little, you tell a little, and a reader takes in this info and has to fish through everything to find the real truth. One person telling their side, another person telling their side, it can provide valuable red herrings and false prophecies. What's being told in the story that holds water based on action? What's being told that's just bullcrap? When do we root for a character to lie about something they did? When do we root for a character to just blurt their feelings out?<br /><br />Some ends up being true, some ends up being false, and at the center, an engaging relationship between people can be found, because unlike in TV and movies, we have the extra edge of being inside the characters' minds.<br /><br />I read because I get that extra info I don't get from interacting in real life. If all I'm getting is just watching people act, I'll go to the mall. I'll speed-date. I'll watch reality shows.<br /><br />Hell, reality shows are likely a perfect example why a lot of people don't read. That's 100% showing action for people to analyze, and I think we can agree, reality shows are NOT where the real deep drama lies.<br /><br />When I read, I want some insight into what people think. I don't mind if a writer tells me a little about what a character feels. Just like in real life, I will still be compelled to tell that person, "oh yeah? Prove it." :-)Marc Mattalianohttp://marc-mattaliano.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-57132333663975990282011-10-05T21:15:25.179-07:002011-10-05T21:15:25.179-07:00Lots of internal narrative during a long chase see...Lots of internal narrative during a long chase seen. Will review and remove questions. This was very helpful. <br /><br />Thank you!L.L. Muirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05479212854384361721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-83359413500907404442011-10-05T15:50:36.696-07:002011-10-05T15:50:36.696-07:00Honestly I haven't really thought of the quest...Honestly I haven't really thought of the question aspect. It does remind me of those cheesy cliff hangers that cartoon shows would end with...<br /><br />Will Superman catch Lois Lane before the train comes? Find out next week!<br /><br />Like you said, it doesn't say as much and it's a sign of immaturity to ask the reader a question. It takes them out of the world you have brought them into. Maybe as a question the character asks themselves, but that's it.Nicole Pyleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06920135146911951755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-58981446617517021692011-10-05T11:19:08.244-07:002011-10-05T11:19:08.244-07:00Agreed! And yes, that example is better, even kin...Agreed! And yes, that example is better, even kinda funny. Though honestly, I'd do both together!<br /><br />The edited version made into first person is engaging because it shows action, and the original 3rd person version shows thought. Since the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, it gives this girl additional character in the fact that she THOUGHT her anger toward her boyfriend and then acted on it, :-) If her thoughts had been largely timid and shy, then flipped him off, would've been a tad inconsistent and would've required thought to explain it (which isn't impossible, people change their minds all the time, doing both factors that in). If she had thought her anger and done nothing, it would have shown her to be more introverted than outward. Yet, if all we saw was her actions, it's more visual, so even though we're assuming she's angry by her actions, it's clearer why. For one thing, not everyone acts out very much and this isn't to say that an author can't write a character that's largely introverted, right? On the other hand, finding somewhat empty ways for a character to act simply to show anger for the sake of showing it can make a character lack thought. She's clearly mad at Ryan for going to the movie with Danny, but I have to believe she'd be thinking something while flipping him off. "Did I do the right thing?" "How's he going to feel tomorrow?" "Serves him right, jerkface." And it saves time forcing in additional scenes when that character's thought process might be adequate right there.<br /><br />After all, if a story is first person, aren't we supposed to be acting as the person we're reading? We may not know everything about them, like the characters themselves do (for the most part), but those thoughts should be in our heads just as they're supposed to be in the characters' heads, :-)<br /><br />You are absolutely spot-on when saying that actions are more powerful and engaging. But saying a person's thoughts out loud to ourselves while reading is, in essence, like a shrink telling a person to look at themselves in a mirror and reassure ourselves of things.<br /><br />By simply saying them, we believe them, ;-)<br /><br />*blush* Listen, thanks for letting me think out loud. Talking these things out helps me figure if these are really things I believe or just ideas that don't make sense. Really appreciate the conversation, and I hope I haven't been condescending, I did not mean to in the slightest, :-DMarc Mattalianohttp://marc-mattaliano.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-70127015114663673742011-10-05T10:37:44.372-07:002011-10-05T10:37:44.372-07:00Oopps, your right. I switched POV--not good. So yo...Oopps, your right. I switched POV--not good. So you caught me there. <br /><br />How about this then (since I didn't realize I made that blunder):<br /><br />I narrowed my eyes and shook my head at Ryan. "You're an idiot," I said. "I hope you and Danny have a great time at the movies together." I stepped to the curb, hailed a taxi, then turned to Ryan and flipped him the bird. <br /><br />Still the same concept applies. I see her actions. I hear her words. This is far more powerful and engaging.<br /><br />Again, this is a pet peeve of mine. If you like using questions to get inside the characters head, then do so. Do what works for you. make sure you read a lot of examples--ones with questions and ones without--and see which one speaks to you more. <br /><br />Everyone is different. Every piece of writing should be tackled the same way. Just don't over do it to the point it loses its purpose. <br /><br />~Angela ScottReady, Aim, Hook Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-1366246514527695232011-10-05T08:48:55.622-07:002011-10-05T08:48:55.622-07:00I have never written a query letter before, but I ...I have never written a query letter before, but I do fully agree, it could absolutely come off as a "trick" and be seen as cheap, :-) I still think in Synopses, they should be avoided but can included if presented in a really catchy way. There's always exceptions to rules, there's gotta be one to that, ;-)<br /><br />But see, your two examples are utilzing different POVs, they can't be treated the same.<br /><br />The first example is first person, meaning once the scene is effectively set and there's adequate mentions of what everyone is doing, it's deeper to go into detail what exactly they're thinking, especially if those thoughts manifest in different action later. The stupid boyfriend brought a buddy on the date, and the girl's pissed. She has all these thoughts and questions, but 1) does she express them outwardly? 2) if so, how does she express them outwardly? That short paragraph is really taken out of what should be a longer passage that includes the same action and descriptions seen in third person, but we don't see that here. In the next sentence, she might describe how she bites extra hard on the popcorn, stabs her steak right through the middle, and then punches her boyfriend in the arm while walking to the car. There's still room for action for a reader to decipher, but with first person, a reader gets the extra bonus of being in that character's head in real time! :-D You're right that too many quetsions does a lot to tell a reader what's in the mind of the character, but in first person, the reader's obligation to look deeper comes from examining all three (internal monologues, external dialogues and physical action) simultaneously, and it's equally the writer's obligation to present enough of all three so the reader has plenty to chew on. If a reader sees just one of those things, it will inevitably kill the story. But if all three battle each other to an extent (while staying somewhat consistent by a thread), much like conflicting news reports on TV about the same event, it can still make a character realistic and yet give a reader 3x as much to psychoanalyze when reading, ;-)<br /><br />Your second example was third person, and although it accomplishes what it needs to (i.e. shows the girlfriend pissed and leaves somewhat ambiguous what she's exactly thinking), it's a different animal. In one of my latest WIPs, I'm taking a much more distanced stance on third person than I have, describing mainly what characters are doing as opposed to telling how they feel as I've done in the past. And I think it's working great, aside from being really fun to write! But like I said, the dynamic is different. Telling vs. Showing is said to distance the reader, but in my opinion, at least when it comes to first person, the reader gets far too distant when ONLY describing what they're doing. They become cold, they become robots, they're like animals at the zoo. They have no cognitive thoughts, they just do things and it's our JOB to tell what's going on beneath the surface. Hopefully what's Shown is compelling, ;-)<br /><br />First vs. Third person POVs is a lot like comparing a philosopher to a behavioral psychologist. One deals mostly in ideas, feelings, opinions, morality, ethics, fairness, justice, faith, and all manner of concepts of such, while the other deals in picking apart the little things people do, anything from odd coping rituals to outlandish public outbursts, in an attempt to decipher what a character is feeling.<br /><br />One is very internal, the other is very external, and neither is better than the other. Both can be done right if the proper balances offer enough clues, questions and answers to lure a reader in, :-DMarc Mattalianohttp://marc-mattaliano.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-92001755093318484242011-10-05T08:12:05.412-07:002011-10-05T08:12:05.412-07:00Marc, posing questions isn't necessarily "...Marc, posing questions isn't necessarily "wrong"--writers do it all the time. BUT, posing questions isn't nearly as powerful as making a statement. A question--whether at the beginning, end, or in the middle of the story or query letter or synopsis--will NEVER have that kind of power. It just won't. <br /><br />Questions have a "telling" type of feel to them. They TELL me, as a reader, what I should be feeling, what the character is thinking, and what I should expect from the story. <br /><br />It doesn't matter whether the writing is in first person or third person--questions should be avoided. SHOW me through their actions or what they say--that is far more powerful than having the character deliberate on the circumstance and the writer telling me what the character is thinking. <br /><br />EXAMPLE: (setup--your female character is annoyed with her stupid boyfriend for bringing one of his buddies along on their date).<br /><br />What was he thinking? Did he really believe I would like Danny tagging along to the movies with us? Well, he better think again. Where does he come up with these stupid ideas? <br /><br />INSTEAD<br /><br />She narrowed her eyes and shook her head at Ryan. "You're an idiot," she said. "I hope you and Danny have a great time at the movies together." She stepped to the curb, hailed a taxi, then turned to Ryan and flipped him the bird. <br /><br />I know EXACTLY how she is feeling without the need of questions to tell me. I get it. <br /><br />As writers, we tend to underestimate our readers ability to understand what it is we have written. We tend to force our vision on them. Readers aren't dumb. They will get it. We need to trust that. <br /><br />For me, I wouldn't try to add a question to a query letter or synopsis, even at the end. Yes, we only have 100 words or so to attract an agent or editor, I get that. BUT I promise you, using a question as a hook will back fire. Agents do NOT like this. Most readers do NOT like this either. In essence, it's a novice kind of move--a trick, if you will. Agents and editors (and yes readers) will see through it. <br /><br />You can use them, just be careful when you do. <br /><br />~Angela ScottReady, Aim, Hook Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-54178629898668193082011-10-05T06:58:26.859-07:002011-10-05T06:58:26.859-07:00I agree that too many questions in a synopsis or q...I agree that too many questions in a synopsis or query letter doesn't tell nearly enough of the story to lure someone in. However, one at the end gives a bit of drive to a reader to find something out though, you don't think? You ask how much you know about a character to care, but how much bio do you want to offer for a synopsis of around 100 words? :-)<br /><br />As for too many questions in a narrative, like most writing rules, it seems to come down to presentation. For instance:<br /><br />1) 3rd person: A character is going through their fairly routine life and only moderate things come up that get them changing their ideas. Too many questions here is unnecessary. It just means the author is telling way too much about what they want the reader to think. Since their life is routine, statements work much better as it cuts out the questions and goes right for what the characters feel.<br /><br />2) 1st person: Multiple characters have an immense amount of mystery laid on their shoulders all at once, people dying, mysticism from the skies, etc., all that fun stuff, maybe even a crisis. Especially from a 1st person stance, a few more questions here give us an idea of what priorities those characters have, how their thinking contrasts with what they sayand how they act around others, how ahead or behind the game they are, even glimpses into what their plans are if they have any.<br /><br />Like most things in writing, questions are cool if they're effectively balanced with enough statements that the characters stand out next to each other. Also, it should be considered what kinds of questions they are.<br /><br />Too many rhetorical questions at inappropriate moments is like, "well, if there's no answer, why bother asking?" One or two in a shot, where the character genuinely addresses how they feel and changes course in their thinking because of a question that SHOULDN'T be tough to answer?<br /><br />Different story, ;-)Marc Mattalianohttp://marc-mattaliano.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-61735234004163898792011-10-05T06:43:47.410-07:002011-10-05T06:43:47.410-07:00This is something I hadn't thought about befor...This is something I hadn't thought about before, but you are so right! Internal character questions bug me when I'm reading, so I avoid them in my fiction writing. But now I'm thinking back to whether I've ever used them in queries or a story synopsis. If I have, I never will again : )!Pamhttp://hawleyville.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-45556348671707963642011-10-03T10:01:23.279-07:002011-10-03T10:01:23.279-07:00That's a really funny question today since I&#...That's a really funny question today since I've spent the last two days trying to come up with a pen name I can bond with.<br /><br />And I've had zero luck. My husband kept telling me to use my maiden name, and I just rolled my eyes.<br /><br />After exhausting all options, I realized he was right.<br /><br /><br />So I'm Lesli Muir today (at least for my Scottish romances.) Just me. But I think it's going to work out just fine. She's a pretty wild character after all.L.L. Muirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05479212854384361721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-6802351067919207132011-09-29T09:01:36.752-07:002011-09-29T09:01:36.752-07:00Very interesting blog today, :-) But see, that ju...Very interesting blog today, :-) But see, that just goes to show that there's truth and mistruth in what those agents and editors said...<br /><br />You're right, criticizing for verbiage, word usage, strength of a first line, they are absolutely important. Since submitting my work to you ladies, I have honestly looked at everything I write in a different light and I feel better for doing it, :-)<br /><br />However, even if those agents and editors are 100% correct in how powerful an author's work SHOULD be, like you said, they come across thousands of submissions a year and can only give each one a few minutes of their day before trashing it.<br /><br />Thus, how real in-depth could they be thinking about the style? While it may not strike them as deep right away, it might be intriguing enough to read on a teensy bit farther till they have enough context, character, setting and circumstance to really drag them in by their earlobes.<br /><br />This is why I've been leaning on self-publishing even back in high school. I've always wanted to be a nationally published author, it's always been a dream. But if I kill myself until I'm 50, 60, 70, 80 years old, micromanaging my first page until it's nothing like it's supposed to be just so agents and editors think it's sparkling, when in reality I'm just praying I catch one on a good day, then my dream can stick it because it won't have been worth shedding that many pints of blood. :-)<br /><br />I want readers to assess my work. I want to make it because I put my work out and readers enjoyed it and took the good with the bad (because let's face it, even classic books...hell, ESPECIALLY classic books, have all sorts of problems, issues and things that probably should've been changed, despite being amazing). I want readers to get my approach and understand why it makes sense instead of having agents pull it apart merely because they think it's not marketable, or because they think it's not typical enough a formula to stack up against other authors.<br /><br />I was in Walmart the other day and saw Hunger Games on a bookshelf. Curious, since you guys mention it a lot, I read the synopsis on the back. Honestly? The concept seemed really overdone, the premise a little too general and the setting kind of cliche. Yet apparently that approach earned it not only publishing rights but at least one movie.<br /><br />I want to attack readers with things they think they know, and prove to them by practice that my approach is surprising, entertaining, engaging, fun, and emotional. <br /><br />And I will succeed, whether publishers, agents, movie houses or anyone approaches me, :-)Marc Mattalianohttp://www.twitter.com/cardinalmarcnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-77427481753903586762011-09-27T00:51:52.654-07:002011-09-27T00:51:52.654-07:00I wonder if you live in my old house. Toys would a...I wonder if you live in my old house. Toys would amuse themselves in the closet, doors opened themselves, and a little girl, who was not mine, appeared from time to time. I'm spooked now and should go to bed.Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04590714476900571257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-10153616606400092182011-09-23T18:06:30.516-07:002011-09-23T18:06:30.516-07:00We'll play with the font. This blog template h...We'll play with the font. This blog template has been a pain in my arse. It does weird stuff, one being it makes the font small and sometimes within a post it makes one section even smaller. Sorry to make your eyes clench from the strain. :)Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-57889580309953577562011-09-23T17:22:43.525-07:002011-09-23T17:22:43.525-07:00You girls are on fire! Truth is, the more closely ...You girls are on fire! Truth is, the more closely you look at a piece of writing, the more confused you grow and this has happened to me. Otherwise, I like the suspense. I personally don't like the phrase 'clenched eyes' though...<br /><br />One more thing. I have a bit of request if you will. Could you increase the font size on your posts because my eyes are hurting from the tiny letters. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17979704972319783846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-46971969588830709932011-09-23T16:37:06.170-07:002011-09-23T16:37:06.170-07:00Great catch! That's why it's important to ...Great catch! That's why it's important to have more than one pair of eyes look at your stuff. It took four to catch that one. :)Ready, Aim, Hook Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10917625209106328305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-12488391845130166542011-09-23T13:43:56.797-07:002011-09-23T13:43:56.797-07:00"peaked" should be "peeked". ..."peaked" should be "peeked". Other than that, I agree with the ladies.Michael Offutt, Phantom Readerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10557969104886174930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-52766583714023433592011-09-21T17:47:52.985-07:002011-09-21T17:47:52.985-07:00Woah, this is a crazy good piece. How did I not k...Woah, this is a crazy good piece. How did I not know about this site yet? I call foul!D.T. Conklinhttp://www.dtconklin.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-24664790451547567192011-09-21T16:46:56.654-07:002011-09-21T16:46:56.654-07:00I plan to redo the first chapter of my manuscript ...I plan to redo the first chapter of my manuscript (as soon as I finish up my rewrite :D) because I'm cutting my original first two chapters. I love them, but they are slightly revealing and are set in the past so...Brooke R. Bussehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17147444223968856153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-47834820338314784662011-09-21T14:59:31.494-07:002011-09-21T14:59:31.494-07:00Awesome! I had my first paragraph written for year...Awesome! I had my first paragraph written for years, thinking I would never change it. One day a new sentence jumped into my mind and I had to change it. I can't believe I even thought thought the first one was any good! :) Maybe I'll send it in to you someday...:)Elaine Allenhttp://www.itsallwritehere.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-78875439843028242192011-09-21T14:47:28.776-07:002011-09-21T14:47:28.776-07:00We had a much better response to our cold reads at...We had a much better response to our cold reads at RWNZ conference in August...I assume that was much the same as you describe... and editors and agents asked writers to submit work on those first two pages.<br /><br />But those first pages are so very important and that's why they are such hard labour.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1800627233308901301.post-50212998730357973772011-09-21T10:50:25.588-07:002011-09-21T10:50:25.588-07:00That is so very true! And I love the quote. Person...That is so very true! And I love the quote. Personally, I write my beginnings last because I try so hard to have a strong beginning. I've been known to obsess over the first sentence. Now I know better... if it feels right, it might be. But having some feedback helps beyond all else. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17979704972319783846noreply@blogger.com